Chances are, right now, you have a friend who’s dieting. Regardless of why she’s dieting, if she’s serious, you want to be encouraging in everything you say and do. On the other hand, there are a lot of things you could say that would have the opposite effect, and might make her mad, hurt her feelings, or send her in search of a contraband bag of cookies. Here’s my list of 7 things never to say to a friend who’s dieting.
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Unless your friend has specifically asked that you keep her hands out of the chips bag or otherwise monitor her eating habits, don’t ever make a comment on what your friend chooses to eat. Yes, she might appreciate the reminder, but remember, you don’t know what she sacrificed all day to be able to have that one bon-bon, and she won’t want to explain that to you, I’m sure.
I’ve never struggled with m weight, just my cellulite, but my sister has been dieting forever. It doesn’t help her to hear her friends ask her why SHE has to diet when I’M so skinny. It just makes her mad. So if you’re tempted to say something like that, think about how you’d feel if someone asked why you got stuck with the thunder thighs when your sister has long, thin legs.
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What? Don’t you know you should never, ever ask a woman, no matter how close you are, her age or her weight? It’s just plain bad manners, and won’t actually tell you anything about her diet’s success, either. If she wants you to know how much weight she’s lost, she’ll tell you that, though, and with pride, too.
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Even if you have thought for years that your friend has needed to lose weight, it’s only going to hurt her feelings if you tell her that so bluntly. Instead, if she announces her new diet plans, encourage her by telling her it’s a great idea, and asking if there’s anything you can do to help!
It’s wonderful that you care so much about your friend, but chances are, she feel overwhelmed enough with her diet to even start thinking about what she’ll do once she’s dropped these 25 pounds. And besides, who wants a nag as a friend? Be proud of her for doing one thing at a time, and making it stick.
Trust me, your friend is well aware of her “problem areas” and hearing them from you won’t help, unless of course you plan to pay for the costly and even risky surgery. If she asks your opinion on what else she can try to do to lose pesky fat in one particular area, then you can recommend surgery, Otherwise, encourage her with exercises and recipes.
Even if you think your friend is setting unrealistic expectations, this isn’t the way to let her know. Think of something more subtle to say, and focus on the health issue, rather than what sounds like a dedication issue.
If you avoid saying these things, and focus on positive things to say, your friend will know she can rely on your for advice and encouragement while she’s dieting. She may even learn from your gracious, helpful example, and help some of her other friends with their diets, too! Has anyone ever said anything less-than-helpful to you when you were dieting? Please share with me!
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