I have the opinion that a night IN with a good book is always better than a night OUT in a bad company. However, some books really made me re-think that decision. Now, I’m not saying I won’t read a book again, I love books. But, if you ever experience a similar dilemma just make sure the book you are planning on reading is not one of these 7:
1. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
Man! I still can’t forgive my high-school teacher for making us all read this! If you have never read it, my honest advice would be to keep resisting the urge. In fact, here, I’ll re-write the whole book for you here: The man really wants to catch the huge fish, he befriends a boy, the man goes fishing and finally catches the fish, the sharks eat the damn fish and the old man is left empty hands, the old man is dying, the boy comes to visit, blah, blah, blah, rather pedophilic conversation, the old man dies. That’s it. And, no, I’m no joking.
2. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
This book (or books, because my version had two of them) are a very useful thing to have around the house. If you need to grab something from the top shelf and you are not tall enough, just use them as a stool. If you need to drop a few pounds, use them as weights in your fitness routine. If you are afraid of an attacker, no need for pepper spray, just keep one of these in your bag and hit the bastard straight in the head. Use these however you see fit just do not and I repeat, DO NOT, read them!
3. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
I love Bronte sisters and, when I’ve seen this one in my friend’s bookshelf, I had no doubts whether to borrow it or not. Now I can the three days spent reading it were the most boring three days in my entire life. Critics would say this book is a very dramatic, picturesque piece that reveals all those negative human behaviors and emotions and demonstrates how far is a person willing to go just to have its revenge. For me, this was nothing but a Latino telenovela. You know, it starts with a poor orphan nobody likes, the orphan turns out to be the child of a rich man, blah, blah, blah, forced marriage, fight for money, everybody ends up being miserable. If you want to wake up your suicidal side, definitely read it. If not, skip it!
4. Veronica Decides to Die by Paolo Coelho
I loved “The Alchemist” and “11 Minutes” so I’m not embarrassed to say that I had high hopes when I decided to read “Veronica Decides to Die.” Honestly, I have enough troubled, selfish teens around me and I really didn’t want to spend 3 hours of a perfectly good day reading about one.
5. Sex and the City by Candace Bushnell
The book is nothing like the TV show! I know it’s the corner stone of it so I wouldn’t feel good bashing it too much. I’ll just say this – if you need something to keep you busy in the evenings, get a DVD and watch all the episodes again. It’s much funnier and you won’t have neck pains.
6. Mort by Terry Pratchett
I love fantasy novels and I’ve really enjoyed both “Harry Potter” and “Lord of the Rings." However, when it comes to Pratchett I just have give him thumbs down! The plot is quite weird, not as nearly as complex as the one from the two book series I mentioned above, plus, some parts of this “book” look like a simplified version of both of them. Lame.
7. Mars and Venus in the Bedroom by John Gray
It’s a great insomnia treatment but not as nearly helpful when it comes to sex life. I thought it will help me understand men better but I had been half though the book when I realized I haven’t read anything I already don’t know. Now, either I’m too smart or this book is just all about rewriting the old news for commercial purposes. My bet goes on the latter.
And, yes, I am being a boring, constantly criticizing pain in the neck but everything that has been made available to the public is subject to criticism. And that goes for this post too so, if you think I’ve been too harsh do tell. And tell me – have you wasted your time reading a bad book lately? And, please, give me a fair warning – what was it?
Top Photo Credit: Ben+Sam