7 Things You Should Not Say to Someone with Depression ...

Depression is a debilitating illness that affects both mind and body. It messes with emotions, decision making skills, and thought and body functions. People who suffer from depression need all the support, help, and understanding they can get. If you know someone who suffers from some form of depression, then you probably feel like you should at least say something to show that you care. Before you make a sound, you need to know that there will some things that you shouldn’t say to people who suffer from depression.

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“You Need to Be Stronger.” or “You Are Stronger than This.”

Depression is not about strengths and weaknesses. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Saying this to people with depression can make them feel guilty about not being able to fight the depression.

“What’s Wrong?” or “What’s Your Problem?”

People with depression don’t essentially have anything wrong with them. The depression is not even caused by one specific problem. Sometimes depression is the result of a number of problems and life events. In other cases, people are not even able to identify exactly what caused the depression because, more than anything else, it is a chemical imbalance.

Frequently asked questions

“Lighten up.” or “You Should Try to Enjoy Life.”

Don’t jump to the conclusion that people with depression do not want to enjoy life. They do but their brain will not allow them. They really do want to enjoy life and be happy; that is why they suffer so much from the disease.

“Snap out of It.” or “Get over It.”

Depression is not something you can get over with sheer willpower. Usually, the chemical imbalance makes it hard to just “snap out of it”. Saying this to someone with depression can actually make them feel guilty and more depressed.

“It’s All in Your Head.”

Depression is a real medical condition. It is not something people imagine. You cannot wish it away or forget about it as if you are forgetting an insult or a bad encounter. If depression were as simple as this, a lot of people would have wished themselves happy.

“do You Feel Better Now?”

Even though people can feel uplifted for several hours, that doesn’t mean that the depression has gone away or has been cured. Even with medication and therapy, depression is not something that can be cured overnight. It takes time. Talking to friends or family can ease the pain but that doesn’t really make things medically better.

“You Need to Get out More.” or “do Things That Make You Happy.”

Depression usually takes away people’s interest or energy to do things. It doesn’t matter how many times to tell someone to get out and hang out with their friends or to do things that are supposed to lift their spirits. They won’t do it if they have lost the desire to even get out of bed.

As someone who suffers from depression, I can say that these things, as well as many other similar platitudes, don’t really help the situation. Before you can truly help someone with depression, you need to understand the nature of the illness. Usually, people’s insensitivity stems from the lack of education and information. I hope that somehow, this short post has enlightened you.

Tpo image source: itwasjustadreamyeah.tumblr.com

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My friend once said the first one while I was really depressed and crying and it just made me feel worse and cry even more. I'm really close friends with her though and and I think she said this because I was making her cry

Every single one of these mention have affected me in a different way. Some people think its funny or okay to say those things, but it's really not. It affects us a lot and makes us feel like we're not good enough. I'd be better off with someone just simply telling me that they're there for me and that if I ever need someone to vent to I could come to them.

Thank you for this post. People would never dare tell a cancer patient to "snap out of it", but people who are suffering from depression are considered weak and attention-seeking. It's just horrible; not to mention unfair.

I suffer from depression myself and nothing upset me more than when people would say "it's all in your head". They don't know how it feels to have depression. They don't know that simple tasks like getting out of bed, taking a shower, etc... is a chore. It's harder for people with depression to do simple day to day things sometimes...

gah! i've used a lot of these. what DO i say then? i really want to make my friend feel okay and give her a confidence boost, but i could never find the right words.

"you make yourself like this" is one that really pisses me off quite a bit. i get this alot, and it's definitely not something someone should say to a person suffering from depression, especially if it's coupled with anger issues.

wish my mum would read the last one..

Sometimes it actually helps to say otherwise. When u truly care about someone who has this condition, they would go the extra mile to get better out of seeing your very own frustration. It varies really, person to person.

I've gotten all of them, and it hurts to hear people say those things, i think that instead of saying something its better to not say a thing, because in the end you just end up hurting that person even more. I constantly tell my mom, the day that people do a marathon for any mental illness that day i'll run.

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