Some people, when they travel abroad, might as well have a giant arrow pointing to their head saying ‘I’m a tourist!’. Here are my top 10 tips on how to avoid joining their numbers.
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Tourist Shirts
Do not, under any circumstances, buy a t-shirt with the name of the place you are visiting. What are you, a human postcard?
Weather-Ready
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Dress according to the weather, not how you think the weather should be. Heavy rain is common in Barcelona in spring, and the sight of tourists in shorts affords much amusement. Well, it should be warm in the Med, right?
Photo Credit: rachel sian
Frequently asked questions
Mapping out
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Be discreet in the use of maps. Not only are you showing that you are a tourist, but that you have no idea where you are. You might as well shout, ‘I’m lost! Come and rob me!’
Photo Credit: gillian villa (•Cycling Trivialities)
Bus about Town
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Keep away from tourist buses. They are expensive and garish, and if you step aboard one, you are showing that you lack the imagination to decide for yourself what to see. The Louvre? Tick. The Eiffel Tower? Tick. Two down ….
Photo Credit: Stefano MinopOlympus
Sustenance
Wander away from the main tourist streets when you want to eat or have a coffee. Only tourists eat in restaurants on main streets. Don’t worry, you’ll be perfectly safe. Unless you ignore the next rule …
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Strike a Pose
Avoid waving your videocamera about all the time. Wait until you see something actually worth filming, and keep it as securely hidden as possible when not in use. Cameras are easy to snatch, and thieves make a nice living out of careless tourists.
Photo Credit: Jeff the Trojan
Amusing Street Shows
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Do not stand around watching those guys doing tricks with matchboxes. There is no surer way of indicating that you are not one of the locals, who is well aware that this is a scam.
Photo Credit: TarynMarie
Over-Confidence
Do not adopt that attitude that ‘I am on holiday, nothing can happen to me’. A little bit of caution goes a long way.
Of Knick-Knacks and Odd Things
A bit obvious, this one, but avoid souvenir shops. At best, you will incur the scorn of locals for being fool enough to enter these overpriced emporiums of tat. At worst, you will exit the shop with a 2ft high model of the Eiffel Tower.
Photo Credit: Outlaw_Pete
Communication
Don’t open your mouth. This reduces the chance of anyone realizing that you are a foreigner.
What makes you laugh about tourists? What else marks them out?
Top Photo Credit: AstridWestvang
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