Are you looking to find your Mr. Right? Your perfect partner? A man that you'll love passionately, forever, and who'll love you back even more?
Then there are 3 things you must know or must do in order to make sure you get him.
by Michael Myerscough
I've just came across this article, written by Michael Myerscough who is a 16 year veteran of counselling and coaching people to have great relationships, and I just thought that it could be useful for you too.
PS: the guy is the author of `Finding Mr. Right', a book that guarantees you'll find your man within 2-18 months, so this article contains some sound advice on dating - that's for sure! So, here it is :
1. Get Clear on Who He Is
Let me ask you this. If you don't know... what kind of personality he must have, what behavioural characteristics he must possess, what he must value in life, the keys to how he looks in order to be s*xually attractive, what do you think your chances are that you're going to find him?
Poor? Very Slim? Worse than that?!
If there's a key to success in anything (and let's face it you know this already) it's getting clear on your goal. Sound's a bit clinical when talking about future husband material, but it's a universal rule. If you don't know what your goal is in anything you do, you seriously damage your chances of getting it.
And we're not talking about the `dark hair, over 6 foot, sensitive, listens to me, loves to go shopping' list. What we're talking about here is identifying your most important emotional needs. The things that when they are met will make you feel `naturally' loved for ever by your partner.
Also you must know the behavioural patterns that a man has to exhibit to make you feel loved, cared for and passionate. And just as importantly the ones that turn you off big time. Things like - the level of physical affection you require, whether or not he buys you gifts regularly and maybe even the fact that he likes spending time with your family.
You also need to know what you value in life in order to match sufficiently at that level too. If you demand adventure in your life to stay excited then you don't want to be wasting valuable time with a guy who, you eventually discover, gets his biggest kicks watching Saturday's match from the couch.
Once you're very clear on your needs - emotional, behavioural, value-wise - then you massively multiply your chances of finding your Mr. Right. In fact, if you combine this with the next 2 steps, I challenge you not to find him in 12 months! So the next must is...
2. Get Clear on Who You Need To Be
Don't worry! We're not talking personality makeover here.
Most of the time, what my clients need is some additional information, some insight, some ways of dealing with men to allow them to make the most of their own potential.
Because sometimes there's something stopping you attracting the right type of man.
What commonly stops my clients?
Their self-esteem. They make themselves unavailable to men. Not maximising their body image. Not being able to flirt and attract enough men. Not being able to hold on to men. The list goes on.
Now don't get depressed. I'm sure not all of these apply to you! However, there's something that right now is preventing you from finding your man. Some piece of your behaviour that is blocking you. And you absolutely must find out what it is. More of that later...
3. Date Relentlessly
The last must:
You know who you want. You know what you need to do to attract him. The only thing left is to date relentlessly. Because dating is definitely a numbers game.
You need to be going on a minimum of 2 dates a week. Preferably more. If that sounds impossible/horrendous/not worth it, let me explain. There are 3 keys to allow you to do this.
a) Multiple dating
‘Going out’ with more than one man at a time. No - it's not immoral. You just need to be very clear about what is and what isn't acceptable for you and your potential dates. You must share that with your partners at just the right time. And you mustn't overstep your boundaries. Seriously, I've made that mistake, in the name of science, and it gets really messy, very quickly :-).
b) Modern dating resources
Pubs and clubs are very poor places to meet available men. To meet the numbers of men you need to, you must take advantage of some more modern dating methods - online dating, speed dating, singles parties, etc. Not only must you use them, but you must know how to get the number of dates out of them that you want.
c) Lots of dates, very few relationships
A date is not a night out. A date can be, and most of the time will be, a 20 minute ‘coffee break’ meeting. This allows you to fit in lots of dates and get to know whether there's any chemistry between the two of you. Your first date is almost always going to be going for a quick drink.
3 must do steps. Know who you're after. Know what you need to do or be to find him. Date relentlessly (in the right way).
So what's stopping you?
Not sure where to start? Here is a link to a free `How to Find Mr. Right' course. Define your perfect partner, find out how to attract him and how to get the dates you need.
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