Ladies, yes -- Cracked.com and its awesome team set me onto this interesting post, via the likewise fabulous Buzzfeed.com, because the viral goodness always comes from somewhere! That being said, laws are there to help us, to keep us safe, to make us behave, and for lots of other good reasons – but some of them are lame. Worse, some of them are so vague that there's absolutely no way to keep from breaking them. I've got six of them right here, and I can safely say that I'm guilty of every single one of them. Please don't turn me in, because I'll have to turn around and rat on you, too – and I don't want to be the jailhouse snitch. It's a way better idea just to take a look at some of the laws you've probably broken, be aware of them, and go on offending – but secretly!
1. Singing the Happy Birthday Song
All right, technically you've only broken this law if you've done this in public. So … show of hands – all of you, am I right? Public performances of the song are illegal due to the fact that it's copyrighted. Technically it's only a problem if someone's making money on it, so – oh, but wait, what about servers? Wait staff? The animals at Billy Bob's Wonderland, Chuck E. Cheese, and Disneyland? What about clowns? Considering that a bunch of Girl Scouts got sued for singing it around a campfire, not even the clowns are safe. Personally, I think someone had a grudge because of the price of Samoas, but that's just me.