There are many occasions when someone close to us does or says something that is almost impossible to forgive leave alone forget. It could involve breaking your trust in some way, betraying you or generally being insensitive to you. At times like this, it probably seems like there is no way you will ever get over the anger and disappointment but holding on to it will get you nowhere. Here are 7 tips to help you forgive and forget.
1. Your Enemy is Unaffected by Your Anger
The first thing you have to understand is that the focus of all your hurt and anger is unaffected by your constant venom and disgust. They might be aware that you are hurt and unhappy but it is certainly not going to affect them the way it is affecting you. When you come to this realization you may also acknowledge that forgiving and forgetting is the best way to become happy again.
2. Try and Pick up Some Learning from the Experience
Whether or not you are believer in fate and destiny, you can most likely acknowledge that everything happens for the best. Every experience you go through will teach you something and honestly you will learn more from the bad ones than the good ones. So in an effort to forgive and forget try to focus on the learning you gained from the experience.
3. Listen to the Explanation and Apologies
Sometimes it can actually help you to listen to the explanations and apologies offered by the individual who has hurt you. Knowing that they are sorry and understanding why they did what they did can hasten you on your journey towards forgiveness. So take a few minutes and listen to what they have to say. It just might help you.
4. Allow Yourself Time to Forgive
Forgiveness doesn’t happen in a day. Depending on how bad the betrayal was, it could take you quite some time to get over what happened. Give yourself the time to go through all the emotions that will come your way. Anger, grief, disappointment, disgust and hurt are steps along the path to forgiveness, so allow yourself to feel them.
5. Think about Whether You’re Still Actually Upset
Sometimes we decide to stay angry even though in reality we are no longer angry. Our pride and ego gets in the way and we find ourselves holding on to a grudge even though the reason it first occurred doesn’t exist anymore. If you come to the realization that you just aren’t angry anymore, throw in the towel and forgive.
6. Talk about Your Feelings
Bottling up your anger and hurt will get you nowhere. You need to vent so find someone who will listen and vent away. It could be a friend, your spouse, your therapist or a family member but reach out and talk about it. Holding it in will just keep the pain and anger alive.
7. Examine Your Priorities
Ultimately you have to examine what you value more, the relationship or the fight. If you want to continue to have the relationship, it’s time to get off the high horse and make peace.
Learning to forgive and forget gets easier with time and as long as you have the support of your loved ones, you should be able to get over the problem. Ultimately when you forgive, you instantly become happier so work on your issues and get over them as soon as possible.
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