Do you need some believable excuses to get out of work today? With the weather getting better and better, all I can think these days is how great it could be to get out of work early ... 🙏
And since I've been fantasizing about it quite a bit lately, I made a whole list of 44 of the most believable and heart-breaking reasons that will allow you (and your humble author) to cut the working hours 🙌 without getting the paycheck cut. Even if you have the strictest boss on Earth. 🌎
Now all you need to do is choose the reason that sounds just right in your working place. And you'll be free to go in under 10 minutes! 🙆 Here are the best excuses to get out of work.
1 Pipes Broke
Your neighbor called - the water pipes "broke" and your basement is flooding. Got to get home ASAP because this is one of the most perfect excuses to get out of work.
2 Pet Emergency
If your boss is a pet lover, go with a pet emergency. Animal lovers will let you out of work every time!
3 Food Poisoning
You've got a fake food poisoning... works without fail! Just be sure not to blame it on your boss's favorite restaurant.
4 Tummy Troubles
You have diarrhea - everybody will be so embarrassed to question you about it that you'll be out of the office in 5 minutes!
5 Broke down
Your car broke down on the side of the road, and the tow truck's taking forever and that's a sure-fire excuse for missing work.
6 Labor Ready
Your cousin went into labor, and you're the only person who lives close enough to get her to the hospital in time!
7 Pulling Teeth
You chipped a tooth – what a klutz! – and you now have to make an emergency dentist visit.
8 Woman Issues
If your boss is a guy, just say you're having "womanly issues" … no guy has the guts to question it!
9 Lice Attack
Lice - yikes! No one wants you coming to work with lice. This might even get you an extra day if you claim to be treating your house, too!
10 True Blood
Tell your boss that you had annual blood work, and there was an "irregularity"… you'll have to go in right away for follow-up testing.
11 Civil Duty
You've been summoned to court. No one can argue with the law! After all, it's one of the most believable excuses for getting out of work.
12 Doctor's Orders
Claim a urinary tract infection. This one's great because it can show up overnight and can clear in a day or two without medication, so no need for a doctor's excuse!
13 Moving Day
Your best friend's potentially-violent boyfriend has kicked her out, and you've got to help her move – today!
14 Locked out
You locked your keys in your car. The locksmith's on the way, but he said it might be hours before he arrives. When it comes to excuses to get out of work last minute, this one should serve you well.
15 Car Accident
A close family member was in a car accident. You don't know if it's serious or not, but you just couldn't concentrate at work unless you go check on them.
16 Stomach Bug
You've caught a stomach virus. This one's great because you can claim whatever hour length you need… 18-hour stomach virus, 24-hour, 48-hour bug… suits your needs!
17 Septic Tank Runneth over
Your septic tank overflowed, and your yard is flooded with sewage. No one will question your need to take care of this one!
A tree in your neighborhood fell into the street, blocking the road. The Department of Transportation will respond as soon as they can, but who knows when that will be? What more could you ask for from a believable excuse to miss work today?
19 Bee Ware
You got stung by a bee last night and had no idea you were allergic… now your face is so swollen you can't see to drive.
20 Left behind
You carpool to work, and your carpool group totally forgot you this morning. Now, you'll have to try to hitch a ride with someone else – surely your boss won't encourage hitchhiking!
21 Put Your Back in It
Just say, "I threw my back out." People use this excuse all the time, and no one really knows what it means – but no one seems to question it!
22 Booty Blues
You've got horrible hemorrhoids and your doctor advised you to soak for several hours in a salt water bath. No one will have the audacity to tell you to come on in with this one!
23 GYN 911
You've got a "reoccurring gynecological condition". Get out of work, no questions asked…
24 A Real Pain
A migraine is a great excuse. Anyone who's really had one will know how painful they are, and reoccurring migraines = more days off!
25 Burning up
Claim first-degree burns in a cooking accident. Just be sure to say it's on a body part you can easily cover up for the next few days at work!
26 Can I Get a Witness?
You were witness to a hit-and-run accident, and you've got to go to the police station and give a statement. Again, no one argues with the law, making this another go-to choice when it comes to believable excuses to get out of work today.
27 Nurse Betty
Just say, "My spouse/child/roommate is too sick to get out of bed, so I've got to stay home and care for him/her."
28 Someone Call Security!
Someone tried to burglarize your home last night, and you're getting a security system installed today. No one will ask you to jeopardize your personal safety!
29 Operation Repo
Call your boss and say, "My car was repossessed last night, and I don't have any money for a taxi!" In this economy, who could blame you?
30 Garage Door Wars
Tell your boss that the spring on your garage door snapped, and you're not strong enough to raise the garage door to get your car out. Where did I get this crazy idea? Oh, because it really happened to me! :)
31 Election Day Deal Breaker
This excuse works any time there's a local or national election, especially if your candidate doesn't win. Just let your boss know that you're suffering from electoral heartbreak and you need a few days to recover.
32 You've Fallen and You Can't Get up
Falling in the shower is terrifying, not to mention potentially dangerous. Even when you catch yourself before you fall, you're left feeling panicked with your heart racing and adrenaline pumping through your body. Don't overplay this excuse, though – if you didn't seriously hurt yourself, don't fake a broken leg or anything like that.
33 The IRS Cometh
Does anybody like the IRS? The fear of an audit is real. It's hard to picture a boss who wouldn't be understanding about this excuse. Just remember that you probably shouldn't try to use it in August or October or something.
34 A Donor Problem
Donating blood is a wonderful, selfless, helpful act. You could always call in and say that, after donating blood, you're feeling way too dizzy and lightheaded to make it in for the day.
35 Your Dog Ate It
You can always use your pooch or your pussycat as an excuse, too. Say your beloved fur-baby ate something he wasn't supposed to and you have to get to the vet ASAP.
36 Something You Ate
Food poisoning hits hard and fast, plus it can be pretty unexpected. If you need a foolproof excuse for getting out of work, claiming food poisoning is the one you need. Just remember not to go in the next day and eat tacos for lunch or something – that might hamper your credibility.
37 Fever for Work
Having a fever means you're contagious. Mention a spiked temperature when you call in and your boss will practically beg you to stay home, just so you don't infect the rest of the office.
38 Rash Decisions
No one wants to come into work when they have a mysterious rash. No one really wants to see someone else's mysterious rash, either. Ergo, invent a mysterious rash.
39 Stranded and Alone
Flat tires are frustrating to deal with, not to mention time-consuming. Hey, something like that might impede your ability to get to work, huh?
40 PTA Problems
Tell your boss that your child's teacher or principal called to demand an immediate meeting. Don't use this excuse if you don't have kids, though. That's too easy to disprove.
41 Can't Phone Home
People today are permanently stuck to their phones. They're addicted. Although this excuse won't work with every boss, it will likely work with millennial business owners – just say that your phone is dead, or broken, or forgotten at home. Isn't that one of the best good excuses to miss work?
42 A Spectacle of an Excuse
You can't work if you can't see. If you wear glasses, tell your boss that they're lost or suffered a sudden break. There are a variety of excuses you can make regarding contact lenses, too.
43 A Gas Problem
Here's a twofold excuse for you. You can either say that you're having the worst gas attack in recent memory, or claim that your car's out of gas and you're totally stranded for an indefinite length of time.
44 A Sprain Pain
A sprained ankle, wrist, or knee is an excellent excuse, as well. You can't really do anything for it medically, it's serious enough to be painful and distracting but not serious enough for a visit to the doctor or hospital.
Do you know a great excuse to get out of work? Please do share! There can never be too many, right? ;)