So you’ve tried to move on, but you just can’t do it. Thinking of finding your ex? Either you’ve got some of his stuff, or you simply want to see what he is up too, or what his new girlfriend looks like....well, whether its a good idea or not, its easier than ever to track people down, especially your ex. And here’s my top ten ways:
While this might seem obvious, if you are missing him, they’ve probably noticed anyway. Someone is bound to know his last location, or about his new job...your friends are exactly information sources, so use them!
Look at friends friends, and friends of friends of friends. Your bound to find someone who knows him or a family member of his, and you’ll soon be able to find him. Of course, if he has a private profile, this isn’t much use, so talk a friend into friend requesting him on your behalf...
Even the most unlikely looking people have blogs these days, so its worth searching to see if your ex does, or if he’s been mentioned in one recently. Use a blog search engine and see what comes up.
If he’s moved, or its been a few years, go to the library and look up public records. You might have to show ID to be allowed to access the information, and there won’t be much, but it could give you a starting point.
Public records can be a treasure trove of information. Property records, for instance, can reveal if he has purchased a home or other real estate, signifying a more stable life change. Marriage and divorce records, although sometimes trickier to access due to privacy laws, might provide clues as to his relationship status. Court records could also shed light on any legal issues that he might be involved in, which could potentially impact your decision to reach out. Just remember, while it’s public information, always respect privacy and legal boundaries during your search.
If you’ve got his mobile number, try using reverse look up. This has different numbers depending on your phone network, but will allow you to see the address his phone is registered too, as well as sometimes the last time it was used. Then you could accidentally break down outside...
Search for posts made by him, and look at who he follows and what he tweets. If it’s not him, but he’s mentioned, tweet back pretending to be an old friend, and ask for contact details.
This sounds stupid, but you wouldn’t believe how many of my friends have been happily reunited after turning up at his parents and asking for contact details. Having the parent on side is always a benefit anyway, and they’ll be thrilled to be involved!
There are several agencies that search for people like old friends, by gathering information from you and using this to look for them in obvious, and not so obvious, places. This is a last resort, though, as it can be expensive!
Use reputable ones, and remember to use the spelling of their name that they are most likely to use. If they have a web presence, these are likely to show it up.
Many people change their online footprint, but a dedicated 'Find People' searcher can unearth profiles you may have missed through regular search engines. Pay attention to variations of their name, including nicknames or professional titles they might go by. Occasionally revisiting the searchers can also yield new results as some individuals update their details or create new online accounts. It's a modest way to tap into the digital space where traces of your ex's activities might be found without infringing on their privacy.
Or school, use friends reunited or classmates.com to see if they are registered or if old friends are. Ask them for his details. You’d be surprised at who is on these sites, and it’s an easy way to track old friends, too!
Prepare yourself for rejection, or for him to be holding a grudge, but also prepare yourself for him to have moved on or changed completely.
I wish you the best of luck, though, there is nothing better than a happy (reunited) couple! Have you got a tip for hunting down past boyfriends? Please share it with me!
Photo Credit: flickr.com