7 Lame Jokes That Make Me Laugh ...

Photo Credit: Lone Primate

Three men were hiking in the wilds north of America, in the country that is now known as Canada. They gradually realize that they are exploring undiscovered territory.

Man 1 looks at his buddies, clearly excited. “I think we discovered a new land, eh!” He says enthusiastically.

“We're venturing where no men have ever gone before, eh,” Man 2 agrees, also excited.

“Let's name it,” Man 3 decides. “We'll each pick a letter, so it'll be fair, eh!”

The three of them agree to this method, and Man 1 begins.

“C, eh,” Man 1 starts.

“N, eh,” Man 2 continues.

“D, eh,” Man 3 finishes.

And that's how Canada got its name!

I know, that's really horrible, right? I read that in a joke book when I was eight years old, and it's still my favorite. It's actually the thing that first sparked my love of Canada, and made me so determined to visit the country one day. For the record, even at eight, I was well aware that Canadians do not say “eh” after everything – but I did make my Canadian friend spit water when I shared it with him!

Photo Credit: steve white 1111

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What? It is!

Photo Credit: educationav.com.au
One day, Johnny is late coming to class. His teacher immediately asks him to explain his tardiness. “I was on top of Blueberry Hill,” Johnny explains, then goes to take his seat.

Ben was even later than Johnny. When he got to class, his teacher demanded to know what had made him late. “I was on top of Blueberry Hill,” he answered, then went to take his seat.

Danny was late as well. When he finally came to class, the teacher also demanded to know where he'd been. His answer was the same as Johnny's and Ben's.

Just as Danny took his seat, a little girl walked into the classroom; she was the latest of all. The teacher rolled her eyes and said, “Let me guess. You're late because you were on top of Blueberry Hill.”

“No, ma'am,” the little girl replied, “I AM Blueberry Hill!”

Awful, right? To be fair, I first read that in One True Thing, by Anna Quindlen. And promptly, literally, LMAO'd.

Photo Credit:team.breeze

Two melons fell madly in love and swore they were soulmates – but were never wed. How come the melons never married?

Because they cantaloupe!

Photo Credit: Saudalf the Grey

Janie: Last night my friends and I had a slumber party, and they said that I'm way too obsessed with Lord of the Rings.
Johnny: Why would they say that, Janie?
Janie: They told me I was Tolkien in my sleep.
I like this one because … well, because I am a ginormous LOTR freak. Honestly, when I first heard this joke – and other variations of it; there are tons of different ones – I laughed so hard I shot soda out of my nose.

Photo Credit: sebastien.b

What do you give to an elf who wants to be taller than he is?

Elf rising flour.

Photo Credit: sillyfrog :-)

A man is walking down the street. There is a newt sitting on his shoulder. A lady stops him as he passes and says to him, “Your pet is so cute! What's his name?”

The man looks at his newt and then at the lady. “Tiny,” he answers promptly.

The woman cocks her head and asks, “Why do you call him that?”

“Because he's my newt,” the man responds.

Groan, right? But I love plays on words like that! Minute, tiny, my newt – you get it!

I know these are awful, but what can I say? I have a weird sense of humor! Do you have any lame jokes to share?

Top Photo Credit: eaukes