With the weather getting better and better all I can think these days is how great it could be to get out of work early ...
And since I've been fantasizing about it quite a bit lately, I made a whole list of 30 most believable and heart-breaking reasons that will allow you (and your humble author) to cut the working hours without getting the paycheck cut. Even if you have the strictest boss on Earth.
Now all you need to do is choose the reason that sounds just right in your working place. And you'll be free to go in under 10 minutes!
1. Pipes Broke
Your neighbor called - the water pipes "broke" and your basement is flooding. Got to get home ASAP!
2. Pet Emergency
If your boss is a pet lover, go with a pet emergency. Animal lovers will let you out of work every time!
3. Food Poisoning
You've got a fake food poisoning... works without fail! Just be sure not to blame it on your boss's favorite restaurant.
4. Tummy Troubles
You have diarrhea - everybody will be so embarrassed to question you about it that you'll be out of the office in 5 minutes!
5. Broke down
Your car broke down on the side of the road, and the tow truck's taking forever.
6. Labor Ready
Your cousin went into labor, and you're the only person who lives close enough to get her to the hospital in time!
7. Pulling Teeth
You chipped a tooth – what a klutz! – and you now have to make an emergency dentist visit.
8. Woman Issues
9. Lice Attack
Lice - yikes! No one wants you coming to work with lice. This might even get you an extra day if you claim to be treating your house, too!
10. True Blood
Tell your boss that you had annual blood work, and there was an "irregularity"… you'll have to go in right away for follow-up testing.
11. Civil Duty
You've been summoned to court. No one can argue with the law!
12. Doctor's Orders
Claim a urinary track infection. This one's great because it can show up overnight and can clear in a day or two without medication, so no need for a doctor's excuse!
13. Moving Day
Your best friend's potentially-violent boyfriend has kicked her out, and you've got to help her move – today!
14. Locked out
You locked your keys in your car. The locksmith's on the way, but he said it might be hours before he arrives.
15. Car Accident
A close family member was in a car accident. You don't know if its serious or not, but you just couldn't concentrate at work unless you go check on them.
16. Stomach Bug
You've caught a stomach virus. This one's great because you can claim whatever hour length you need… 18-hour stomach virus, 24-hour, 48-hour bug… suits your needs!
17. Septic Tank Runneth over
Your septic tank overflowed, and your yard is flooded with sewage. No one will question your need to take care of this one!
A tree in your neighborhood fell into the street, blocking the road. The Department of Transportation will respond as soon as they can, but who knows when that will be?
19. Bee Ware
You got stung by a bee last night and had no idea you were allergic… now your face is so swollen you can't see to drive.
20. Left behind
You carpool to work, and your carpool group totally forgot you this morning. Now, you'll have to try to hitch a ride with someone else – surely your boss won't encourage hitch hiking!
21. Put Your Back in It
Just say, "I threw my back out." People use this excuse all the time, and no one really knows what it means – but no one seems to question it!
22. Booty Blues
You've got horrible hemorrhoids and your doctor advised you to soak for several hours in a salt water bath. No one will have the audacity to tell you to come on in with this one!
23. GYN 911
You've got a "reoccurring gynecological condition". Get out of work, no questions asked…
24. A Real Pain
A migraine is a great excuse. Anyone who's really had one will know how painful they are, and reoccurring migraines = more days off!
25. Burning up
Claim first degree burns in a cooking accident. Just be sure to say it's on a body part you can easily cover up for the next few days at work!
26. Can I Get a Witness?
You were witness to a hit-and-run accident, and you've got to go to the police station and give a statement. Again, no one argues with the law!
27. Nurse Betty
Just say, "My spouse/child/roommate is too sick to get out of bed, so I've got to stay home and care for him/her."
28. Someone Call Security!
Someone tried to burglarize your home last night, and you're getting a security system installed today. No one will ask you to jeopardize your personal safety!
29. Operation Repo
Call your boss and say, "My car was repossessed last night, and I don't have any money for a taxi!" In this economy, who could blame you?
30. Garage Door Wars
Tell your boss that the spring on your garage door snapped, and you're not strong enough to raise the garage door to get your car out. Where did I get this crazy idea? Oh, because it really happened to me! :)
Do you know a great excuse to get out of work? Please do share! There can never be too many, right? ;)