Sheryl Crow Doesn't Wipe Well

Sheryl Crow should eat crow. The save-the-environment rocker who’s on a “Stop Global Warming College Tour” with Laurie David and just proposed a limit on toilet paper usage is a big gas-guzzler. Her performance rider demands for each show include three tractor trailers, four buses and six cars for her entourage, reports. She also insists on 12 bottles of Grolsch beer, six bottles of “local” beer and a bottle each of “good Australian Cabernet” and “good Merlot.” Crow’s flack said the rider was “an old one from 10 years ago” but declined to show us a current one.

This is the excerpt from her own website explaining how much toilet paper each of us should use (or rather not use!):

Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, whose judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, “how bout just washing the one square out.”

I’m sorry Sheryl, but you obviously haven’t seen my ass - one square just ain’t enough, honey!


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