There's all sorts of wild reports coming in about Paris Hilton's stay in prison. One friend claims the first time she was at the Century Regional Detention Facility "she had to use a sock as a scrunchy because her hair extensions got tangled." Another report (and I hope to God this is true) claims Paris didn't eat or drink for three days because she was afraid a prison guard might take her picture while she was on the toilet. A source tells the NY Daily News:

"She was absolutely terrified that one of the guards or staffers would get her with the cell-phone cam and it would wind up on the Internet," a Hilton insider said yesterday. "She didn't eat or drink a single thing for three days because she didn't want to use the toilet. She was in real danger. She cried the entire time, and that wasn't helping the dehydration."

And this, my friends, is the woman who's tired of pretending to be dumb. I can't even imagine what's going on in that brain of hers. If you x-rayed her head you'd see a kitten pawing at a ball of yarn. She's like a child. By the time she's released she's going to be caught trying to dig her way out with a spoon.