All Women's Talk

8 Responses to "I Love You" when You Don't Feel the Same Way ...

By Alison

If your love life is as much of a disaster as mine, you’re more likely to be the one who is met with silence when you tell someone you love them. But what if it’s the other way round, and you know that you don’t feel the same way, or you’re not sure? Is honesty always the best policy, or can you let someone down gently? Here are some suggestions as to what you should say.

1 I Wish I Could Say the Same

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This might seem a little brutal, and has to be said with care. Providing you explain that you just don’t feel the same way, the other party will then know where they stand. Said with the right tone this might work, but if you say it too bluntly, it might be hurtful.

2 I Can’t See Myself Feeling That Way

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If you really are sure that you won’t ever be in love with someone, then it’s best to be honest about it. Knowing this means that they have the choice to move on, rather than live in hope. Again, be nice the way you say this!

3 I Don’t Think I Can Give You What You Want

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Again, if you are certain that you won’t share their feelings, be honest about it. A dead silence or a lie just won’t do. How would you feel if someone told you they loved you but didn’t mean it?

4 I’m Not Certain What I Feel Yet

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This is potentially risky, as the other person may take it as meaning that you are trying to say a definite no. However, we don’t usually fall in love simultaneously, so if they are patient enough to wait and see, then you might return their feelings when the time is right.

5 I’m Not Looking for a Committed Relationship

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Sometimes people catch you by surprise, and say very early on that they love you. If that’s not the type of relationship you’re looking for, tell them so. If it looks as though they are someone who falls in love too quickly, you might be better off distancing yourself!

6 There’s No Chance

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If someone you’re not even dating tells you they love you, make it very clear that nothing is going to happen. Taking pity on them may lead to them taking advantage of your soft nature, so say no chance and stick to it.

7 I Care about You but I Don’t Love You

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This is a good response if someone is pushing you to respond with ‘I love you too’ and you know that you won’t fall in love with them. It won’t be the answer they want to hear, and might not go down too well, but you should never be pushed into lying.

8 I Want to Wait until I Really Mean It

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If you think that you may or will feel the same way about them in the future, this tells them that you need to wait until you can say it sincerely. If they genuinely love you, then they will be prepared to wait until you are ready.

Never lie and say you love someone when you don’t, even if you are afraid of hurting them. It will simply hurt them more when they realize the truth, and you risk being trapped in a relationship that does not make you happy. What have you said when in this situation? Have you ever been on the receiving end of an insensitive response?

Top Photo Credit: Co®tex™

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