Nobody wants to waste time with Mr Wrong...I mean, all the preparation that goes into a first date, from picking an outfit to working out what to talk about and where to go, is only worthwhile if Mr Right is sat waiting for you...preferably with lots of money, a nice car and some flowers! There are some ways you can spot Mr Wrong without putting too much time in, these are the 7 ways you can tell if he’s more likely to be Mr Right, or Mr Not Quite Right.
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If he can’t keep his hands to himself, it probably means that his intentions are more towards getting you into bed rather then bringing him into your life. I’ve got a friend who convinced herself that he was just overcome with desire, but really, he wanted to have some fun and then delete her number. He even went as far as to take her to a place his exgirlfriend was, and use her to make his ex jealous. I bet it didn’t work...nobody wants to be ‘just for fun’.
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Chivalry isn’t dead, but there have been changes. Check that he is being respectful...does he make eye contact with you? Did he turn his phone off? Does he compliment you occasionally, and does he introduce you to people who he sees? These things are all good indicators of whether he is interested in you, and making you feel good.
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Eye contact is important. It shows he is interested in you, and puts you as an equal. It can be hard to keep eye contact while eating, and nobody wants to be stared at, but he should certaintly meet your eyes while he is listening. If he doesn’t, he could be harbouring issues. These could just be rudeness, or lack of interest, or it could be something deeper.
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If he seems very negative and critical, don’t waste time with him. Whether it’s ‘light hearted’ or not is irrelevant...nobody wants to be with someone who constantly puts them down, and it shows that there may be some undisclosed issues. I try to be fair with everybody, but I’ve never met a bitter man worth the time I’ve spent with them, so I’d be hesitant to waste more time.
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If he can’t help but litter the conversation with references to his ex, then he could be on the rebound. Remember that if they spent a long time together, he may accidentally bring her up, but this should happen once or twice at most, and he should be happy to talk about her. You should be able to tell quite easily if he is a man who has moved on, or if he is still hung up on her.
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If he won’t give anything about himself away, be a little concerned. Most men will want to know about you, but they’ll want you to know them, too. And if he won’t give away anything that would make him identifiable, it might be that he has a motive...such as having a wife, or a girlfriend, already. Ask him a question, and if he won’t answer as you’d expect, put your guard back up.
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If he’s bitching about everyone he knows, including his family and exs, and you’ve found yourself very bored and watching the foxes outside, he isn’t the man for you. Or anyone else, for that matter. He clearly has some problems, and you don’t want to involve yourself in them...after all, who knows what he’ll say about you to others?
Run through this checklist in your head, and see how he scores. If he slips up on one or two of the not-so-serious ones, consider a second date, if you are interested. If he slips up worse, don’t waste your time on him. Mr Right is out there and waiting, and you don’t want to be hung up with a loser while you wait! Have you found a way to detect Mr Wrong? Please let me know!
Top Photo Credit: Dessert First