Negotiating with a tough boss, an upset spouse, or an indifferent friend can be pretty difficult. Here’s the good news; you can get your way and let them think they are getting their way! You don’t have to manipulate, but here are 7 surefire ways to get your way every time!
Photo Credit: Josef Seibel
You’ve heard it said before, “Honey attracts more flies than vinegar”. It’s certainly true! Don’t wear a sour expression. Smile and be pleasant, have a cheerful disposition! When asking for something you want, have a good attitude and open body language. You’ll be so agreeable, it will work like a charm!
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Use “I” statements, not “you” statements. For example, if you’re trying to convince hubby to go to the mall with you, don’t say “You never go shopping with me anymore”. Instead, try saying “I miss having you with me when I go to the mall. I enjoy your company!” This way, you don’t sound accusing or nagging.
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Make sure that you make note of and comment on things that you appreciate about the other persons disposition or attitude. Acknowledge their helpfulness in situations and show your gratitude for allowing you to do something or for giving you what you want. Everyone wants to know that his or her thoughts, feelings and actions have merit!
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Respect others’ ability to decide on important matters. Every one likes a little bit of freedom. A tactic to employ in this area is to present your case, make it clearly known what you would prefer, and then leave the final decision up to whomever you are asking. This gives them the upper hand so to speak; they feel as though they are the ones making the decision and may be more apt to give in.
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Don’t forget to acknowledge status when asking for something. If your dad is a computer whiz, and you would like him to put in a good word for you at the company where he works so you can get the job you applied for, here is an example of what you should say. “Dad, you are so smart when it comes to computers, I would love to be half as good as you are. Your job seems to have taught you a lot, maybe if I worked there with you, you could teach me what you know!”
Photo Credit: Anca Iordache
Make sure when you request something of someone that it’s a good time. When a person is tired, hungry, upset, stressed or short on time it would be a bad idea to approach them. Wait until you have a good opportunity to talk and discuss things in a rational way and with a good attitude.
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Understand that you may need to be willing to compromise. You are still getting your way, although maybe not quite as you had imagined. But it’s better than nothing at all right? And sometimes it works out better that way than you would have expected!
It’s not selfish to want to get your way sometimes. Of course, it’s not possible ALL the time, but when necessary, you can employ these tactics and its guaranteed success every time! How cool is that!
Top Photo Credit: Netfalls
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