Not having your sweetheart around when you need him can be really frustrating. I know, believe me. I’ve been there and, given the fact that my fiancé and I live in different countries and that I still have to come back home to finish up the last few exams I have left, I can freely say we still sometimes engage in the familiar, long distance stuff that used to be out reality up until some time ago. Contrary to many beliefs, long distance love can work, grow strong and turn into the happily ever after. In fact, long distance relationships even have their advantages. Interested to know which ones? Well keep reading…
Talking is what keeps the long distance relationship from falling apart. You can’t hug, cuddle and go out so you do the only thing you can – talk! Some people use Skype, others prefer typing on msn or gtalk but the basic principle is the same. The more you talk, the more you get to know each other and, since you can’t spend two hours talking about the weather, you start sharing your goals, ideas, principles, opinions, past relationship experiences etc.
The one-on-one time the two of you can spend together is limited to just a few days or a week, if you’re lucky, so it’s logical you’ll try to get the most out of it. If you know he’ll be gone soon and you won’t see each other until next month, you’ll want to spend every second with him. Right? Now, would you believe if I told you that your one week of practically living together is worth more than 2 months of casual “2-hours a day, 3 days a week” dating? You see, people in normal relationships can date for like 6 months or even a whole year before realizing the other person is nothing more than a very good actor. Why? Because you can dress up, put on your pretties smile, act differently and say things people want to hear. After all, it’s only 2 hours! However, when you’re with somebody 24/7, little bits and pieces of your normal behavior will come through. Something will slip and it doesn’t take a lot to make your partner start wondering are you really w
ho you claim to be.
The great thing about a long distance relationship is that you’ll get to work on your trust issues. You see, living in different cities or even countries gives both of you an opportunity to cheat and lie without the fear that the other person will find out. But, if you keep stressing about that, if you make jealous scenes or call him only to make sure that he’s really sleeping, he’s going to get tired of your maltreatment sooner or later. Yes, he can cheat, but so can you, so you need to believe in him and his ability to make good choices. He needs to do the same, of course! The two of you need to learn how to trust each other and , if your love is as big as you claim it is, you’ll be ready to put all negative past experiences behind and say “This man/woman won’t let me down!” Be happy, you two! You might not be able to see each other every day but you have something big and strong, something most normal couples claim to have but never got the chance to test it.
You have trust!
Being in a relationship presumes having certain responsibilities. If you’ve canceled the last date, it would be rude to cancel another one, no matter how busy you are. Some people think that being in the relationship means having somebody to hang with everyday, so if you’re with a man/woman that feels that way, there won’t be much free time left for friends, career development, personal development and hobbies. With long distance relationships, however, your lifestyle doesn’t change significantly. You’ll still have your fun time, hobby time, friends time and nobody will feel neglected. You can finish those things you need to do for work/studies/courses while your partner is away, have fun and go out with friends and then take a break from everything and spend a couple of wonderful days chilling with him and doing all the stuff you couldn’t do while being apart.
When two people in a long distance relationship finally reunite for a few days, they practically or literally live together. That means he’ll see you in your pajama, home clothes and without make-up. Girls usually try to look good every second of the day but that lasts quite short. You’ll eventually relax and let him see you for who you really are and, guess what? He’ll tell you you’re beautiful with no makeup or heels on! These moments will bring you more close together, make you feel relaxed and comfortable with each other faster that it would normally take.
You don’t just say “Hey, let’s have a long distance relationship, I have nothing going on in my life anyways!” You have to feel something really strong and have the reason to believe that person is The One because, in the end of the day, love is all you have. In long distance relationships infatuation and lust fade away almost instantly because they have nothing to feed on. Superficial relationships and those based on financial or personal interest also don’t stand a chance in this case because maintaining a long distance relationship requires sacrifice and giving. So, if you’re successfully maintaining a long distance relationship you can be sure he/she means a lot to you and vice versa.
Come on, you can’t pretend it’s not true! The mere fact that you can’t have him every time you want is enough to make you want him even more. Plus, the lust keeps piling up inside of you and then, when you finally see each other… BAM! – It’s all rockets and fireworks! You’ll want to please him and he’ll want to please you because you both know the days will just fly away. And I mean right now! Not tomorrow or the day after when you have less work/less stress/more sleep or whatnot.
Yup, long distance relationships are not all pain and loneliness. But, if you’ve ever been in one, I’m sure you know that. Right? And if you haven’t, maybe you’re about to discover that soon. But, could you ever do that? Engage in a long distance romance, I mean. Would you let go and give your best shot or instantly label it as unsustainable?
Top Photo Credit: the_vampire_hanna
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