7 Things Your Mother-in-Law Wants to Say but Won't ...

While it might feel like your mother-in-law is trying to shove advice down your throat, or like she's trying to make you do things the way she does them, that's normally not the case at all. Honestly, your MIL is just trying to help – and she knows you might avoid her for that, but wishes you wouldn't. She wants you to ask her advice on how to deal with her son or daughter, how to take care of babies, how to handle a problem at work – but she's probably not comfortable asking you to want her advice, so she may just give it.

No mother-in-law wants to be involved in your spousal tiffs. That places her in an extremely uncomfortable predicament. Besides, it's normally natural for a mother to take the side of her child, even if she knows his behavior isn't right. A better idea is to talk to your MIL after an argument, when everything is cool again. That way she doesn't have to take sides but might be able to explain her child's behavior or reaction.

Your MIL may not be in love with you right away. You probably won't be in love with her right away either. She wants time to get to know you – and she wants time to get to know you. Every relationship needs time to grow – even in-law relationships.

Mothers are close to their children. I'm still extremely close with my mother, and so is the Better Half. Sometimes it's tempting to resent that closeness, but your MIL definitely wishes you wouldn't. She isn't a threat to your relationship. She's your partner's mother, and remember, blood is thick. You have to be respectful of that, especially if you're close to your mom as well. You never want to come between your partner and his or her parents.

Sometimes, when your MIL makes plans for the family or schedules an activity, it's not your thing. Say your spouse's family goes to the Renaissance Faire every year. Being a new addition to the family, you get to go too! It's not really your idea of fun, but you know, you can still be polite. If you really don't want to go, just be honest, as opposed to going … and then starting a screaming fight with your MIL in the parking lot. Oh yes. It happens.

You might think that your MIL thinks her child is always right. She might even come off that way; it might seem like she thinks her child can do no wrong whatsoever, and you might think that she thinks the problem is always you. More often than not, the exact opposite is true. She doesn't want to see her kid treat you badly, or as anything less than his or her partner. So she wants you to stand up for yourself and be your own person.

Letting your MIL know that the child she raised turned into a wonderful, loving adult will make her day. It will make her whole life. Every mother is at least a little insecure about that. Letting her know she doesn't need to be – and meaning it – will make her very happy, and can be great for her relationship.

Mothers-in-law are not these evil entities. I adore my MIL to-be, and the BH adores my mom as well. How do you get along with your MIL? Do you have any tips for making the relationship work?

Top Photo Credit: valencia84