All Women's Talk

8 Ways to Get over an Unhealthy Obsession ...

By Alison

It’s only natural when a relationship ends to think about it endlessly. You wonder what you did wrong, how you could have done things better, you miss the other person terribly. However, if this stage continues too long, it risks becoming an obsession, and that isn’t healthy. Here are some tips for getting over an obsession.

1 Time Heals

When you first break up with someone, and it wasn’t your choice, you feel as though you will never get over them. This feeling can last for a long time. I speak from experience though when I say that eventually you do realise that you no longer feel the same way. It takes time.

2 Avoid Looking

Are you ‘friends’ with your ex on Facebook or MSN? Delete them. Otherwise it’s very tempting to check up on them constantly and see what they’re doing. This can only make things worse when you inevitably see photos of them with someone else, or see that they are in a new relationship.

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3 Replace

I don’t mean replace them with someone else – never get into a rebound relationship, as it won’t work. What you need to do is find something else to occupy your mind. Look for distraction, and this will help you to think less about your ex.

4 Keep Busy

You don’t need to fill every minute of every day, but you do need to keep yourself occupied so that the obsession doesn’t take over. Find a new hobby, go out with friends, work hard (but not too hard), plan a trip – anything that stops you from sitting around moping.

5 Change Places

Did you and your ex always go to the same places? Look for some new places to hang around, rather than crying into your coffee in that little café you used to frequent together. Also, don’t go to locations where you know they’ll be in the hope of seeing them. That’s not healthy.

6 Face Facts

It’s natural to mourn the end of a relationship, as we invest so much of ourselves and our hopes in them. But it doesn’t always work out the way we had hoped, and we have to face that. For whatever reasons, the other person doesn’t want to be with us, and there is no way of changing that. So don’t keep hoping they’ll come back.

7 Ask Why

If a relationship ends, ask yourself why. Avoid simply blaming yourself, however. It’s always useful to learn from what went wrong, so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes. For example, do you always go for the wrong type of guy, or are you too needy?

8 Write down

Yes, get it all down on paper (or screen). Write down everything that you feel, all the anger, hurt and upset. But DO NOT SEND!!! This will help you express your feelings without leading to consequences – and when you look back, you will realise that your feelings have changed.

We can all get rather fixated on an ex, and convince ourselves that they are the only person we will ever love. It’s not true, of course. Have you ever found yourself in the middle of an obsession with someone, and how did you get over it?

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