First dates are a minefield of do’s and don’t. One unfortunate slip up, one inappropriate comment, and what originally looked like a promising evening can be transformed, irrevocably, into the dinner from hell. So much a successful first date depends on making and maintaining a good impression; to help you to achieve this goal, and to avoid general awkwardness, I’ve asked around and done some reading, and put together a list of 7 things not to discuss on a first date.
Even though, somehow, it seems natural to chat about past relationships with a potential partner, it’s not a good idea; restrain yourself. On a first date, endless talk of ex boyfriends might give the impression you haven’t moved on. Instead of fixating on them, turn your attention to the guy across the table.
A first date is not the time to introduce your potential new man to your plethora of ‘interesting’ infections and ailments. For one thing, discussing your cold sores/dodgy digestive system/heavy periods etc is almost definitely going to gross him out, and for another it runs the risk of making you appear self-obsessed.
Don’t hit a guy with your most outrageous anecdotes straight away: basically, avoid telling any story that starts with tequila and ends along the line of ‘…and then I threw up in his car/shoes/bed/face etc.’ While you do want to give an accurate impression of your life and your lifestyle, you don’t want to make yourself seem too much like that drunken party girl, especially if you think this boy might be solid relationship material.
First dates are not the time for intense debate over meaningful, valuable issues. Avoid heavy topics of conversation which may give rise to genuine disagreement; you don’t want to get yourself into a full-blown battle across the dinner table. If his views are so irreconcilably different from your own, you’ll pick it up in other ways; there’s no need for an awkward argument.
Whether you have masses of it, or none at all, money isn’t a good topic of conversation on a first date. Going on about how much you earn will make you seem arrogant, and whining about how you struggle to make ends meet might give him the impression that you’re not willing to pitch in for the bill.
By all means, mention you’re a fan; but stop talking before you get to the part about your room being a shrine to Miley Cyrus. Endless chatter on the subject of your favourite pop star will, inevitably, make you seem stalkerish and juvenile. Remember that most men don’t engage with celeb lives to the same extent that women do so focus on a topic in which you can both participate.
Again, the first date is not the time for heavy conversation. Don’t be tempted to ‘unburden’ on your potential new man. Obviously, if this guy is right for you, and you do go on to have a relationship, you can expect him to listen to your troubles and give you support. Right now though, on your first romantic excursion, all that intense emotional stuff is just bound to freak him out.
The first date is always a little traumatic to begin with; there’s so much pressure to be on your best behaviour. Fundamentally, you want to represent yourself accurately, but in the best possible light, and this list of 8 things not to discuss, should help you to achieve that goal. Do you have suggestions to add?
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