When you’re deep in a relationship and things aren’t going well, it’s tempting to think that everything is black or white. Either you stay together or you break up – but those aren’t the only two choices you have. Some couples really just need to take a break from one another. The Better Half and I had to do that through a particularly rough patch, and our relationship was stronger than ever afterward. You may have had a similar experience – or maybe you’re unsure. Knowing these signs you and your partner may need a break could offer a lot of help.
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You’ve Lost Focus
If you’ve lost focus as an individual, that might be a sign you and your partner may need a break. It doesn’t even have to be one of those trial separations. You may simply need to take a few days or weeks to yourself, where you and your partner aren’t constantly together. A break is much different than a breakup; you don’t have to go back to being single, you may just need some time to get in touch with yourself again.
You Keep Fighting
Sometimes the problems between you may be a little more serious. I know some couples who never fight, some who merely bicker and pick a lot, some who have tiffs every now and then, and some who fight constantly. Frankly, before our own break, the BH and I were in the constant-arguing category. It was the pits. If you’re fighting a lot or if you’re simply having very serious arguments, but don’t want to end the relationship, then a break and some help might do you a world of good.
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There’s Physical Distance
Whether you’re in a long distance relationship from the start or if you or your partner end up moving away, dealing with distance can be hard for a relationship. There are ways to get around this problem, but it’s really difficult. When the BH and I dealt with this, we spent a lot of time on the phone, on AIM, on Skype, and so on, but that isn’t always sufficient. The two of you may instead decide to go on a break until you can be together again – or until you can decide if you want to stay together.
There’s Emotional Distance
There are different types of distance, however, and if you feel a lot of emotional distance, that’s definitely a sign you and your partner may need a break. Spending time apart from each other can help put these feelings into perspective. You may start missing the emotional closeness you once had, or you may realize that you no longer need it.
You Feel Ambivalent
If you feel ambivalent about the relationship as a whole but can’t reach a hard decision about whether or not to stay together, a break can also be helpful. Again, it can help put things in perspective, so that you can make up your mind one way or the other. If the two of you miss each other like crazy or feel fine apart, you’ll at least have your answer.
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You’re Losing Yourself
Sometimes you can really lose yourself in a relationship. That’s an awful feeling. Everything starts being about the two of you as a couple, rather than as individuals. This feeling is another sign you and your partner may need a break. By taking yourself away from the situation, you can find yourself again. You can also discover ways to keep your identity while you’re part of a couple.
You’re Torn
It’s not uncommon to feel torn about a relationship. You just don’t know if you want to stay or if you want to breakup. Simply taking a break from each other can help you make a decision here as well. The two of you may rediscover your feelings for each other when you’re apart – or you may find out they simply aren’t there anymore. You may simply discover that you’re happier on your own.
Sometimes, a break is all you need, and things will be wonderful when you come together again. Other times, a break can lead to a breakup, but you often realize it’s for the better. What are some other signs you and your partner may need a break?
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