When there are so many terrible things going on in the world, we are often made to feel that we have no right to complain about our own problems. How can we moan about stress at work when other people don’t have a job? Houses may be expensive, but at least we have a home! Well, I think that although self-pity doesn’t help anyone, we should never feel bad that we feel bad about something in our own lives. Here’s why.
1. Not Responsible
Yes, there are terrible things going on in the world, and we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t have compassion for people who are suffering. However, none of us are responsible for wars or natural disasters (except for the people who start wars, of course).
2. All Things Are Relative
When you hear about someone who is in a worse situation than you, it can make you feel grateful that you are better off, relatively speaking. This can make you see things in a more positive light. However, it doesn’t mean that you have no right to feel that yor own situation is difficult – if that is how you feel, it’s fair enough.
3. Everyone is Human
How many of us are saintly enough to put up with whatever emotional, physical or other situations life throws at us? We’re all human, with human responses, and can’t help the way that we feel. Allow yourself feelings, it’s natural.
4. It’s Normal
We all feel bad at times about things that are going on in our lives. It’s perfectly normal. Sometimes we don’t even know why we feel bad (I’m not talking about depression here, that’s something quite different). Accepting that we have times when things get us down or that we don’t feel so happy allows us to see it as part of life – and let it pass.
5. Own Experience
People can often feel guilty that others seem better able to cope with worse problems. Just remember that everyone is different, and people have different coping abilities. Besides, just because your own problem seems less serious than someone else’s, that doesn’t mean that you have no right to find it difficult to deal with.
6. Makes It Worse
Feeling bad that you feel bad about something only makes things worse. You think that you must be weak, and so then you feel even worse. And so on the cycle goes. This is just piling negativity on. Don’t make yourself feel that you have no reason to feel the way that you feel.
Every single one of us will go through many difficult times in our lives. Nobody has a life without problems, so it’s wise to accept that it’s normal and things happen to us. It’s best to learn from them if you can, and move on.
8. It Will Pass
When you’re in the middle of a tough time, it’s easy to feel as though it will go on forever. This makes you feel worse, and then you feel bad that you feel this way. However, things do improve. Don’t make yourself feel guilty about finding things tough, but know that it will get better.
Many people do feel that they have to cope with problems in an almost saintly fashion, and compare themselves negatively to others. Are you like that – do you always say ‘Well, other people have it worse’?
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