I’ve had it. I’ve had it with Mommy Wars, the Waron Single Mothers, the incessant whining drone from the media machine that seems determined, nay, hell-bent on destroying a mother’s self-esteem. What label do you carry? Mother? Working Mother? Full Time Mom? Stay at Home Mom? Work at Home Mother?
Are you AP? Do you practice PD? Do you know what those letters mean, and do you care? Was your child bottle-fed, breastfed until five, eating solids at three months, having her first taste of mashed bananas at 14 months? How about elimination communication, cloth diapering, organic baby food and all the right toys? Did you try to create a Baby Einstein or let your kid move along at her own pace? Did you bathe the cord, not bathe the cord, circumcise,leave intact, did you Simonize, vaccinate, irradiate and inculcate your babekins from all and sundry? Do you feel inadequate ALL THE TIME? If you’re listening to the crap the media is spewing about motherhood, you will. Feel inadequate, I mean.
Go ahead. Turn off the TV. I dare you. Put down the newspaper, don’t listen to Dr. Phil, Oprah, Martha Stewart or Rachel Ray. Don’t take the opinion of the Blogger of the Minute As Seen on National Television as anything other than another fifteen minutes of fame. None of these people matter. Nothing the media can say, sell, or sanitize is going to help you as you try to figure out how to be a good mother. What pisses me off more than ANYTHING, though, is mothers bashing mothers.
Childbirth, child raising, and personal paths as we weave our children into our lives, are hair-trigger issues, and everyone has a different opinion. I can’t thank my mother enough for the kindness, sensitivity, and respect she showed me as I made my first, tentative steps into the motherhood fray. Instead of telling me what to do, she was genuinely interested in why I was choosing one thing over another. She supported my decision to breastfeed exclusively. She didn’t have any nasty, negative, snide comments about my fussy son’s inability to sleep through the night. She certainly didn’t freak out when I nursed him past his six month date. I wish every woman could be as thoughtful as my mother is when it comes to my choices in raising my son. She does disagree with me, sometimes (mostly she thinks I’m being too strict, which I find amazing!) but she always does so in such a way as to remind me that she’s my mother, she loves me, and I’m doing a great job. Be kind to other mothers. If you feel passionate about something, support it with all you do… but don’t condemn another woman for not leading her life the way you do. Please?
*puts away the soap box and makes her child’s lunch for tomorrow*