When you find out that your friend is pregnant, it is so easy to get swept up in the excitement that a new baby is going to be entering the world that we sometimes forget that life is very fragile and sometimes it slips away before it even has a chance to begin. If your friend suffers the devastation of a miscarriage, she will need you more than ever. Here are 7 ways to help a friend cope after pregnancy loss.
1. Be There
Friendship means that you are there during the bad times, as well as the good. Don’t walk away simply because your friend is going through a bad time and does not want to party and play. Even if you don’t know what to say, just be present.
2. Take Care of Her Physical Needs
Miscarriage is a painful experience, both emotionally and physically. Take time to be attentive to her physical needs by helping her around the house while she rests and recovers from the experience.
3. Be a Sounding Board
Your friend is going to need to talk things out at some point. When her little one died in the womb, so did many of her dreams of a son or a daughter. Be there to listen without interrupting and giving unsolicited advice.
4. Help Her Keep Living
While it is important to give your friend a chance to deal with the loss and grieve, it is also equally important that at some point you help encourage her to get on with her life. After a while you should encourage her to start doing the things that the two of you enjoyed doing together previous to her pregnancy.
5. Give Her Space
While you want to be there for your friend, you also do not want to force yourself on her. Some women do best when they are surrounded by their friends; others prefer to be alone for a little while. The better you know your friend, the easier it will be to understand how much support she needs. Even if she is the type of person who likes to be left alone, you should at least check in with her every few days and let her know that you are thinking about her.
6. Tell Her That It is Not Her Fault
It might seem silly to say, but many women blame a pregnancy loss on themselves. They worry that they ate the wrong thing, did too much walking around, or drank too much caffeine. Assure your friend that miscarriages happen without any rhyme or reason and it was not her fault.
7. Remember the Child
Make it a point to be conscious of the loss in the months and years to come. When her expected due date rolls around, it will be a very hard day. The anniversary of her miscarriage will be really brutal too. Be there on those days and do something special to remember the baby like planting a rose bush or sending balloons to heaven with messages of love.
Even if you feel completely incapable of helping your friend through something as difficult as a miscarriage, you need to be there for her. A true friend is there through thick or thin so don’t run now! If you have experienced a miscarriage, what were some of the best ways friends helped you through it?
Top Photo Credit: everyday_stranger