Talking to a guy you like can be difficult. You don't want to come on too strong, you don't want things to be awkward, and you don't want either of you to feel uncomfortable. You don't have to stress out about it, though. Talking is easy once you know a few tricks. Here are 7 conversational gambits for that guy you like, so the conversation will flow a lot more smoothly.
1. Talk about Common Ground
Presumably, if you like a guy, you've known him for at least a little while. You likely already know that the two of you have some things in common – and even if you don't, you can discuss topics that are common to the setting. If you're in a cafe, you can comment on the art on the walls or the coffee. If you're in a bookstore, you can talk about what books you like.
2. Mention a General Topic
There are lots of general interests most people share. They may like to read the news, watch sports, or anything like that. You can mention something that's recently happened in the world of world news, celebrity news, sports news, and so on, and go on from there. Keeping current is always a good idea, however.
3. Go for Open Questions
Open questions encourage an answer that involves more than a simple “yes” or “no.” Conversely, close ended questions typically encourage monosyllabic answers. Rather than asking, “Do you like to read?” you can instead ask, “What kinds of books interest you?” You can also be more general than that: rather than asking, “Did you have a good day?” instead inquire, “What have you been up to the past few days?”
4. Ask Follow-Ups
Follow-up questions are also a good option. After asking the guy you like where he's from, for example, you can follow up by asking, “Do you miss it?” or “Do you get back often?” or “What was your favorite thing to do there?” This also lets him know that you're interested in his life, without being nosy or pushy.
5. Ask Personal Questions
Caveat: do not ask very personal questions. What I mean is, you want to ask questions that will allow you to get to know him better. That can involve asking about literature and musical tastes, favorite foods, favorite activities, and things of that nature. You never want to get too personally personal that soon, however.
6. React to the Conversation
You have to react to what the guy you like is saying to you. Try to laugh at his jokes, listen closely, reveal that you are listening. If you don't react, he's going to think you aren't interested, and that's going to make him feel incredibly uncomfortable, even bored. If his conversation is boring you, try to make it more interesting with some well timed questions or revelations about yourself.
7. Be Honest
If you're really nervous to be talking to him, it's actually okay to say so. Or, if you don't know something he's talking about, it's okay to ask for clarification. That way, the two of you are engaging each other, and conversation may get easier from there.
Talking to a guy you like can be nerve wracking, but it's not impossible. It gets much easier with practice, as well. How do you like to open and encourage conversations with new people?
Top Photo Credit: David Boyle in DC