Happy to report, I’ve been fairly successful when it comesto detecting men who have cheating or substance abuse problems.
And yet…mean-spirited men have been able to fly right under myradar, undetectable until it’s almost too late.
First of all, I’m a sucker for Mr. Dry Wit. So sexy. The problem is, wittiness, and awicked sense of humor in general, can allow some men to cloak things likeanger, hostility, and a mean streak a mile wide.
Next there’s The Backbone Factor. We say we want a nice man,but let’s be honest here: we’ll lose respect for the guy if he seems even a little spineless, right?
So unfortunately, I -- and millions ofother women -- have occasionally mistaken ruthlessness in a man for desirable masculinestrength.
Last but not least, there’s The Strong Woman Curse. If, likeme, you take (too much…) pride in being strong, then you’re more likely toconvince yourself that you should be able to “handle it” when a man with an undersizedheart plays rough.
And by playing rough, I’m referring to things like:
• making you the butt of his jokes• getting a kick out of being mean to you• complete and utter insensitivity to your feelings• leaving you dangling when you’re feeling insecure • withholding compliments from you, just because he can
Well, at some point I got fed up with “handling it."
There areother places in my life where I need to be strong, even tough at times. Butin a relationship, I now have to have the freedom to relax and be…
…soft.
Instead of feeling all the time like I have to make my protective shell harder.
That's why there's nothing more appealing to me in a man (aside from a great sense of humor) than his big, throbbing.......heart.
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How hard is your protective shell?