22-year-old singer Lily Allen posted a whiny little message on her MySpace talking about feeling fat and ugly and how depressed she is. She writes:

fat , ugly and shitter than winehouse

that is all i am , im on my own in america again . I used to pride myself on being strong minded and not being some stupid girl obsessed with the way I look . I felt like it didnt matter if I was a bit chubby cause , im not a model , I'm a singer . Im afraid I am not strong and have fallen victim to the evil machine . I write to you in a sea of tears from my hotel bed in Seattle , I have spent the past hour researching gastric bypass surgery , and laser lipo suction .

This bitch weighs like 110lbs. Which is clearly super fat, but nowhere near time for gastric bypass or lipo. If she actually got gastic bypass I would laugh. And, uh, she would die. Which would probably make me laugh some more. But only because it's funny when stupid people kill themselves. Like my friend Sarah who died of cancer. Oh, the laughs we had about that.