He's Just Not that into You is more than just a star-studded movie and comedic book. It happens in real life all the time. Maybe a guy you really don't like asks you out, or maybe you go out with someone only to discover, after the first day, that it's just not going to work out. Either way, you typically want to deal with the situation as delicately as possible. You may want to try one or more of these 7 things to say and do when the feeling's just not mutual.
In some cases, this is admittedly harsh – but then again, in some situations, harshness is necessary to get your point across. If you've ever been hit on by an honest to goodness jerk who simply can't take a hint, you understand why this might be the right approach. If someone is texting you or sending you Facebook messages, trying to hook up or arrange a date, and he or she just won't stop, you do have the option of simply not answering – especially if you've tried to say “no” before and it's just not sinking in.
This is typically the best option at your disposable. Yeah, with some people, it just won't work, but with most, a little honesty goes a long way. You don't have to be mean or rude about it, but you can still be truthful about your feelings. Just tell the guy or girl, that you really don't feel that way about him, that you don't want to go out on a date. It might hurt, but it's better than a lie.
When the feeling is not mutual, it's important to be honest. Honesty is the best policy and it's better to tell the truth than to lie. It may not be easy to say, but it's important to be kind and respectful when expressing your feelings. It's also important to remember that it's okay to feel uncomfortable and it's okay to say no. It's okay to take some time to think about it and talk it over with a friend or family member before making a decision. It's also important to remember that just because someone doesn't feel the same way about you, it doesn't mean that you are not worthy of love.
In line with telling the truth – kind of – you can always tell the person who likes you that you just want to be friends. This is maybe the worst ever thing to hear, but the thing is, if you actually do want to be friends with the person who likes you, that could actually lead to a relationship later. You never know. Anyway, if you do really like the person, just not like that, then this may be the best option. Just try not to sound patronizing.
Some people just don't want to let it go. They want to know exactly why you won't see them, or why you won't agree to a second date. In that case, let it fly. Again, you don't have to be mean and you don't have to criticize them, but you can tell the truth about the issues involve. Maybe he's not your type, maybe you and she just don't have chemistry, and so on.
Sad to say, sometimes a little fib works best. You might say you're really busy, or you don't have time to be in a relationship. You may say you're not ready to be in a relationship, or that you have commitment issues. You can also allude to the fact that you're seeing someone else.
This is another dreaded line, but it's common in rejection – maybe because it usually works. Who can respond to something like that, honestly? Again, some people might take the time to ask why it's you and not them, but for the most part, this is one of those mind-blowers that leave you dazed and confused, but full of understanding that the person you just asked out does not want to date you.
No matter what method you use, you can and should always be polite. You can't always necessarily be super nice, but you can have manners. You can thank the person, for example, and make sure to let him or her down easy. You don't need to crush the ego of the person who just got up the courage to ask you out – that's hard!
There are many ways to let someone know you don't feel the same way. This is a difficult scenario, but it's far worse to give the person false hope. How do you let people down when you don't like them?
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