Have you ever had a crush on a teacher or college professor? Oh, I did. He was my adviser, he wasn't all that great looking, but he was so smart and witty and oh, man, I just loved him. Never, ever did anything but rumor had it that my dear Dr. Scanlon did have a tendency to go out with students. Not the greatest idea, right? In fact, here are 7 reasons never to date your professor!
Dating a college professor is hard because it typically has to stay a secret. He or she may be married or in a relationship, for instance, and there are scores of other reasons why this kind of information shouldn't be made public. At first, having a secret affair might seem thrilling and romantic, but the first time you have to do something special without your professor or seem him or her with someone else, it will get really hard.
The university has rules against faculty-student relationships for good reason. Beyond personal complications, getting discovered could mean severe consequences for the professor, including job loss or tarnishing their professional reputation. And let's not forget the potential for a power imbalance — your grades and academic future might be at stake. The secrecy adds pressure, guilt, and the burden of a relationship that's not openly acknowledged, which can dim the magic faster than you might think. It's like living a double life, and over time, that weight isn't just heavy—it's exhausting.
Speaking from experience, it's hard enough to concentrate in class when you don't have a relationship with your professor. When you do, I can only imagine that it's impossible to stay focused. It will probably be awkward for both of you, and can really start to affect your schoolwork and grades.
Attention is a currency in the classroom, and investing it in personal emotions rather than educational content is a surefire way to go bankrupt academically. Your mind might start playing tricks on you, with every word or gesture by your professor read through a filter of your intimate relationship. This distraction can lead to missing out on essential details during lectures, misinterpreting academic feedback, and overall, a decline in the quality of your notes and participation. In other words, the educational cost of a romantic liaison with a professor could be your academic excellence.
Speaking of which, won't you wonder if you pass your professor's class(es) because you're dating him or her? Worse, if anyone else every finds out, they will probably wonder about that as well. Even if it's not true, the stigma will probably stay attached to you.
This sticky situation can seriously undermine your academic achievements. Imagine nailing that presentation or acing the final - your hard work might never get the recognition it deserves. Others might whisper that your grades were merely gifts, wrapped in the ribbon of romance. And if your grades suffer? Speculation could be just as cruel, suggesting your professor is overcompensating to avoid favoritism. Either way, your academic reputation takes a hit, and regaining respect becomes an uphill battle that might just shadow your entire collegiate journey.
Academically speaking, every student needs credibility. Other professors want to know that you're honest, that you study hard, do original work, don't plagiarize or copy, and so on. Dating your professor can ruin any credibility you've built up in one fell swoop. Again, others may wonder if you got into a certain sorority, fraternity, or club, received a certain award, got a certain scholarship, because you are with your professor.
In any relationship, there are always “what if” factors. In a relationship with a professor, especially if it has to remain a secret, this is especially true. What if it turns into something more? Saying your professor is single, that means having a serious relationship with someone who is already highly accomplished and respected. If the professor is married, that opens up a whole new can of worms.
It's hard to keep secrets at college. It is easy to develop a crush on a professor. What happens if people do start putting two and two together? Rumors will abound – and in many cases, on many college campuses, there are rules about relationships between professors and students. What if your professor gets fired because of your relationship?
Finally, this puts both parties in a sticky situation because of sexual harassment laws. They can apply to both and things can get really messy, especially if the relationship falls apart. A student could get back at the professor this way – and the professor could get back at the student.
Now, that's not to say that you can't or shouldn't ever have a relationship with a professor. I'm not about to judge that. But it does raise a lot of serious questions and there is room for a lot of really tough issues. What do you think? Can this situation ever work?
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