Before you plunge into the evil that is Monday, I bring to you some rather strange but hilarious (if you have a twisted sense of humor like mine) vintage ads that are bound to make you go "What were they thinking?!!". I don't know about simpler times but these definitely come from stranger times.
1 Gilette Safety Razor
There's no such thing as "too early" when it comes to shaving. Look! Doesn't the baby look really happy shaving? So what if he has no facial hair, it's a safety razor silly!
Frequently asked questions
2 Evil Pears' Soap
Message from the evil folks at Pears': Use Pears' or else... P.S: To add insult to injury, we will also publish a picture of your squished baby in the newspaper. Oh Pears you're so easy to see through!
3 Cellophane Bread
RUN! It's the demon child from The Exorcist and she wants your blood...err...jam!
4 Sausages Anyone?
What a talented little piggy! Now fly piggy, fly and drop your sausagy goodness into all our mouths.
5 Beer Day out
Now isn't that just the sweetest outing for mommy and her new born princess. Buy beer together. Drink beer...together!
6 Vibra-finger
Ohhh it's for a gum massage? *disappointed face*
7 Mentos
Einstein, you lying scumbag! And we thought you were born brilliant! It was the Mentos all along?! Boo.
8 Camels for Doctors
** ** Bahahah. Now THOSE are the kind of doctors I would blindly trust with my life...not.
9 Santaclaus Strikes Lucky
Go Santa! You make smoking so much cooler! In his defense, it's cold at the North Pole okay?
10 Love's Baby Soft
And that's the ad that created the world's first pedophile.
11 Mr. Leggs Trousers
This is wrong on so many levels. SO MANY LEVELS. Apparently the woman loved his silly sounding trousers so much that she magically turned into a carpet with a tail and let him walk all over her. Okay then...
12 Stretchy-Seat Underwear
Wrestling men in stretchy-seat underwear? Mmmmm. Bring in the oil!
Because sharing is caring. Also, nothing wrong with a little bromance I say!
14 Tipalet Cigarettes
Yes that's exactly how you win a woman's heart! Because smoke is to us what bones are to a dog. *wags tails*
15 American Airlines
And you thought Sigmund Freud with his Oedipus complex theory was strange. Pshh!
16 Christmas Guns
Guns for the whole family? Wheee! This is the best christmas ever!
17 Ketchup Bottle
Wait a second. You're telling me that it is possible to open a ketchup bottle?
18 Postage Meter
To answer your question, yes it is actually. Is it always illegal to kill a man? Yes? Too bad.
19 Anti-liquor
I'm sorry ladies. I think most men would rather touch liquor than touch your *ahem* lips
20 O-girl
Here's presenting the world's newest super-hero...O-girl! Claim to fame? To help save the world with her super loud orgasms. Actually, I wouldn't mind being O-girl. Heck, I would kill to be her!
Oh the world will always be a strange place I guess. I hope you enjoyed these rare vintage ads. And if you come across any that are as funny, do share! Have a great Monday all of you :)
