Joe Francis Doesn’t Want to Leave Jail and Other Stuff

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Joe Francis has been freed on $1.5 million bail in Nevada, but has decided to stay in his comfy Reno jail cell to avoid extradition to Florida.

Meaning, Joe Francis will continue to be finger-banged by inmates until his tax evasion trial starts in late July.

However, no matter what the outcome, Joe will still have to face “sexual performance with a minor”2

charges in Florida.

Currently, Joe is said to be doing very well with the general population.

Not too sure what that means, but if I had to guess, I would say Joe finally learned that screaming only made his throat worse after the inmates were through with it.

Because the prisoners like to have eating contests.

Ew, you thought I was talking about what?

You’re sick.

I got tired of seeing that Joe Francis pic, hence, Ryan Reynolds for all you ladies.

Here’s a recap of today’s happenings.

Huffington Post: Ryan Reynolds takes up writing.2

Not too shabby.

He’s still not as dreamy as me, but some day Ryan, some day.

Bastardly: Monica Belluci looks like she did 5 years ago with the help of airbrush artists.

They could have just hired someone to draw her.

Drunken Stepfather: Petra Nemcova hikes up her skirt to get out of a cab.3

I feel pervy and I love it.

CityRag: Paris Hilton’s Arresting Cameltoe

Celebitchy: Dina Lohan lied about being a D-lister.

Yeeeah: Cameron Diaz’s New Boyfriend Even Bigger Puss than Justin

Pajiba: Heroes writer Tim Kring messed with the story line for the season finale.

People not happy.

Egotastic: Victoria Beckham is Robot Hooker Woman of the Year

Celebrity Hack: Vince Vaughn loves to drink.2

JIYHB: Heidi Montag wants to be more famous that Lauren “LC” Conrad

SOW: Jericho is coming back for 7 episodes.

CBS still chewing on nuts.

HB: Britney Spears $13 Over-customized Mansion Won’t Sell Due To Tackiness

Dlisted: Bruce Willis was jealous Ashton Kutcher was boning his ex.

Ha, baldy.

TFT: Danielle Lloyd Shows Off Her Body Again (NSFW)

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