I’m just sort of floating through today. I’m sleepy and brain dead after my busy week. It didn’t help that Red Beard had a ridiculous case of insomnia last night. He kissed me awake at around 12:30 and said to me, “I’m sorry, Hun, I can’t sleep. I’m going to read a book or watch some TV in the other room.” It was nice of him to let me know, since when he’d come to bed late a few nights before, I had trouble sleeping while I wondered where he was.
I sleepily kissed him and rolled over so I could fall back asleep. I tossed and turned for a few moments before my mind glommed onto work conundrums and the gears started grinding. I tried to distract myself from work thoughts with musings of just about anything else. I finally succumbed to a bout of, erm, self abuse.
Nothing worked. I was exhausted, so I could not figure out why in hell I couldn’t simply fall back to sleep. I thought to myself, “The first rule of Fight Club is you do not wake up a chronic insomniac to tell her you have insomnia.” Then again, it could have been like the other night, when not knowing what he was doing was the source of my sleeplessness. I can’t win. And it has very little to do with Red Beard – for the most part. (His frequent bouts of restless leg syndrome aside.) I’m sure if I were alone, I would find my own reasons to remain sleepless, sine that’s just the way I’ve always been. I should just buy stock in coffee and forget about sleep.
So today, I could put my face down on my desk and pass out. I still have more to accomplish before I can call it a day, but I just need to take a tiny mental vacation for the time being. What I really need is a good old fashioned nap.