The 2007 MTV Movie Awards take place this Sunday, June 3. Hosted by Sarah Silverman, the show will feature performances by Rihanna, Jay-Z and Amy Winehouse. The leading nominees include Pirates of the Caribbean and 300 with four and five nominations respectively. Making guest appearances are Cameron Diaz, Victoria Beckham, Jessica Biel, John Travolta, Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Samuel L. Jackson, and Katherine Heigl.
However, in addition to popcorn trophies and craptastic performances, there’s a certain level of opulence an awards show like this must maintain. And how is that done you ask? The goody bags. Filled with god knows what, these bags are worth more than 4 pristine black market kidneys. Able to fund a small army of AK-47 wielding children, these gift bags serve a dual purpose: entice celebs to sit through 3 mind-numbing hours of awards and “comedy” and have them act as walking advertisements. So what’s in the bags? Well, an ass load of free stuff, most of which no average person will ever be able to use or want to use. The (really long) list after the jump. It’s mainly useless stuff like grooming products. Missing from the list are cyborg monkeys which yours truly has. Suck on that John Travolta.