I honestly believe I have the best grandparents in the world! And yes, they did spoil me. They still spoil me to this very day. There's nothing wrong with having doting grandparents to love on your little babies. But there's a difference between doting and spoiling. There are grandparents who over-spoil your kids. It can be hard to get them to stop because no matter what you say, you will always be told that "you can't tell your mother what to do young lady" ... which is true. But there are ways to deal with grandparents who spoil your kids. If you are having trouble making your wishes clear, please keep reading my article and I will share with you 7 ways to deal with grandparents who over-spoil your kids.
1. Talk about Your Concerns
You won't make any progress if you just tell your child's grandparent to stop buying them toys every trip they make to the store together. Make sure that your and his parents understand that you're afraid little Johnny will think he gets a toy every time he enters a store. Grandparents love to lavish on the love, but they may not realize that it concerns you and you worry about what your child will be thinking the next time you take him with you into Walmart. Temper tantrums are not on your grocery list this week so talk about your concerns with Johnny's grandma and make sure she understands what worries you when she spoils.
2. Set Boundaries
It's obviously unrealistic and quite honestly, a little mean of you to tell Grandpa that he can never under any circumstance give Sally jelly beans. But it's perfectly acceptable to tell him that she can only have them at certain times of day (not at bedtime) or as a reward for doing something she is supposed to do. Set boundaries with the grandparents and then make sure that you are absolutely clear on them. And if a boundary is crossed or broken, deal with it immediately. Don't wait two hours or two days before you bring it up. Just simply say, "No, Mommy doesn't want you to have candy before nap time. Give it back to Grandpa until you wake up." That's and effective way to deal with grandparents who spoil your kids!
3. Put Your Foot down
If you notice that boundaries are being crossed even when you are firm or as soon as you leave the room, it's time to do something about it. You don't need to be unkind or rude, and you should probably never do it in front of your child. Wait for a moment when you are alone with your parents or his parents, and gently bring up the problems. State what bothers you, what you want done about it, and what will happen if your wishes are not honored. Then follow through with your word!
4. Be Understanding
It's hard to be understanding of another person's view on a subject when you feel like you know best. But the truth is, maybe your mother does know more about raising children than you do. And if you have a situation where your children don't get to see their grandparents very often, it's important to try and be understanding of everyone's feelings. Besides, honey attracts more flies than vinegar so try and be sweet in every sticky situation and it will be much easier for you to deal with grandparents who spoil your kids.
5. Make Your Reasons Clear
Maybe his mom doesn't know that candy with blue dye in it makes your child turn wilder than a bull in a pen. Or maybe your dad doesn't understand that you would rather have your tot get in the habit of taking off his shoes every time he comes indoors so he's not tracking mud inside. Whatever your reasoning behind a rule is, let it be known! I promise that when all parties involved know exactly what to expect things will go much smoother. It may not always be perfect, but it will at least be smooth for the majority of the way.
6. Be Firm
It can be hard to say no to those tiny little pleading eyes when grandma offers to let Junior play in the mud and you don't have any extra clothes for him. Or when he wants that last piece of chocolate cake right before dinner. But if you have a legitimate reason for saying no, then stick to it. Be firm! The best way to deal with grandparents who spoil your kids is just offer to make up for it. Maybe tomorrow would work out better to play in the rain, so make plans for then! Just remember, it's all about the little things in life so if it's not too serious then don't take it that way.
7. Go with the Flow
Probably the best piece of advice I can give you on ways to deal with grandparents who spoil your kids is just to go with the flow. Is it really that bad? Grandparents are supposed to spoil a little bit. After all, mommies and daddies are so strict, what's a kid to do? Just joking of course, but in reality, ask yourself how bad it really is. If it's something that you can overlook, then do so and move on with your life. Everybody wants to have fun, and that includes kids and grandparents too!
I hope my article had given you some great tips on how to deal with grandparents who spoil your kids. As mentioned before, it's not the end of the world of course, but it can be difficult to maintain sanity when you have perfectly good reasons for saying no, and those reasons are not being honored. Do you have any great ways to deal with grandparents who spoil your kids?
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