**By April Williams **
Last night one if my ten year old twins told me that he noticed a new number when he was going through my cell phone. I stood there in shock and dread hit me like a cannonball in the gut. I realized that I am raising my children to think that it's normal for a mother not to have an "opposite sex relationship" outside of being a good mother. His tone and demeanor suggested that I was in trouble for having a male name in my phone. Where is the boundary between mothering and answering to that inner woman? Why is it that some of us feel like we are bad mothers for wanting to date sometimes? I asked a few parents and the response I got was encouraging and fair. There has to be an understanding with children that they are always first and will continue to be, but mom or dad will have to have time for other adults.
I spoke with him this evening about his attitude towards me and we came up with the simple yet complicated answer; I am mother and he is child. We should not answer to children. Instead we create balance and remember them when making decisions about dating and filling those voids in our life.