By Ines Maric
Good. Now that I’ve caught your attention, I’m going to admit that I completely made up the “study”. Who knows what men think!
I do know what my thoughts are on love, life, dieting, family, parenting, wellness, home improvement, fashion, celebrities, reality shows and ladybugs. This time, I’m only going to cover the love life of one of my closest friends and her choices that made her as miserable as a model who ate the whole chicken before a very important fashion show.
My story begins with a beautiful young girl looking for a perfect job, after graduating college with the perfect grades. After finding that perfect job in the perfect company, she wanted to find her perfect match. Someone to love and someone who’d love her. It was as simple as that, yet so difficult. After dating few ignorant, self-centered men, she finally found her perfect man.
He was tall, handsome, bright, funny, financially stable and willing to commit. What else could she ask for? For him to be single, maybe. When he admitted he had a wife and three children, she was heartbroken. But, as their relationship continued, he assured her that his marriage was only on paper and was heading for the divorce.
My friend, let’s call her Tanya, was happy with his explanation and decided to make it work. He soon became her fiancé.** Nobody was happier than Tanya!** She was all smiles, doing her hair every time they’d go on a date, cooked him his favorite meals and practically made his every wish to come true. Tanya felt bad about his children, but thought that divorce was not her fault and didn’t think about it too much.
Four months later, Tanya discovered she was pregnant. Oh my God, she was ecstatic! She planned this perfect dinner, bought a beautiful daddy-to-be card and couldn’t wait to tell her fiancé the great news. I was very happy for her, and wanted to hear everything about it in the morning.
The very same evening, Tanya showed in front of my building, crying. She told me that he left her and ended the engagement because he found another woman he cared for dearly.
To make the story short, the cheating daddy-to-be came back after few months, begging for forgiveness. She took him back and hoped for the best. Five months later, she gave birth to beautiful twin girls.
Tanya got married to her perfect match, despite of what she believed was the best choice for her and the girls, and bought a house with a huge backyard.
One night, Tanya invited me for dinner. She insisted we went to a restaurant we never went before, in a town 20 miles away from ours. There we met this** pregnant waitress who was madly in love** with a tall, handsome, bright, funny, financially stable man who was willing to commit.
I still wonder why Tanya decided to give up on finding her perfect match. I still wonder why women believe they can change men and turn a frog into a prince.
Why is that? Why are we being fed the fairy tale where ugly, slimy frog can turn into a perfect, faithful prince with only one kiss?
Blame the “good girl-bad boy” syndrome. When a woman meets a charming man, falls for him and then discovers he is far from the guy she wants to introduce to her parents, her logical thinking goes bad. She thinks ” I can change him if I show him how much I care. He would be such a great match if he changed his bad behavior. And once he’s changed, he’ll realize how much he loves me and we’ll be together forever”.
Beep. People don’t change that easily, especially not the cheating men. You can’t change him, so stop trying and go find another one. Maybe the next one will have a repairable problem – horrible sense of style. If your instinct tells you to run, don’t get caught up in children’s fairy tales. Put on your best running shoes and run! There’s a reason why people say “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”