By Leslie Pogue
To commit is to decide. To choose to stick with a decision no matter what happens. Marriage vows ask us to commit to our partner for better or worse, in sickness and health, ‘til death do you part. If you are a religious person, you know the only “get out of jail free card” from marriage is if one or the other partner breaks a commandment. So if that is the case why do 65-70% of marriages end in divorce? Why commit to a maybe? I firmly believe in the institution of marriage but like so many other institutions created a lifetime ago, perhaps the rules are a little dated. Maybe it is time to make marriage work for your own individual relationship. That may or may not require legalities.
When we commit to doing something that others don’t understand, we are often met with opposition when unless the decision is against the law or harmful to yourself or others, what you need most at that moment is support. But how do we know when they’re right or when we are making the right decision for ourselves? Notice I didn’t leave it at “right decision” because there is no such thing. What is right for one is not always right for all so it comes back to knowing yourself; that is how you will know if you are going along with someone else’s will or following your own passion. There will be plenty of people in your life that will tell you that whatever decisions you are about to embark upon are wrong. It is up to you to follow through or give in to the masses.
Your ability to be assertive and know yourself allows you to set boundaries. Committing to a decision is not trusting in others or an outside source; committing to a decision is to trust yourself; trusting that you have done your homework and are equipped to be a good critical thinker. Heuristics or general rules of thumb help guide our critical thinking which allows us to commit to commitment.
Commitment also requires humility, desire, and dedication. Just like the stock market, which has never lost money over a 20 year period, the decisions we make can be volatile but they can also be lucrative and stimulate growth as well as seem effortless over time and consistent behavior.
Never be afraid to say no! By setting goals and standing firm in your own personal objectives you will know when an opportunity is a dividend or a detour. So how do you rally when your commitment takes a detour? You re-evaluate! Use critical thinking and keep what is working and readjust what isn’t. Donald Trump and Walt Disney had many do-overs on their journey to success but they never gave up or said it can’t happen. As a result, their success is legendary.
Nothing will come of doing nothing. So, in order to progress, you must make the decision about what kind of life you want. I woke up one day and wanted to know what happy feels like. Going on that journey required me to work for it. I asked the hard questions of family and friends, lost some people along the way, and cried a lot! But the peace I feel on the other side of that mountain is amazing. There is always work to do to maintain my happiness and I fall into old habits sometimes but I now see the signs and can rally quickly and regain control of the life I want to live. Committing to a happy, fulfilled life is very broad with a number of tasks required along the way for you to obtain and sustain it, like being assertive, setting boundaries, and living a value added life including only allowing value added people to be center stage with you. Remember – You deserve the best! Settling is not an option – EVER!
Today - Commit to the commitment of living an amazing life!