Cannes Film Festival ...

I like covering fashion for events like Cannes because people aren't as serious as awards shows so I feel like their true style really shows and interesting things come out. Chloe Sevigny (at the photocall for "Zodiac") who never fails to surprise us with something horrible is even scaring me with this overly puffed out puffy shirt and giant gold belt buckle. She looks like the court jester's wife. Diane Lane who is always so elegant and beautiful shows up to the premier of "No Country for Old Men" with the most horrendously unflattering boob sagger of a gown. It is made worst with all the beading and embroidered detailing on the empire waistband that further draws the eyes out. Did someone put a fun house mirror in her dressing room?? Helen Mirren is the class act she portrays in her movies and here at the "Chacun son Cinema" premier looks amazing.

I like the old school charm of Brad's hair, it really makes him look like a young Robert Redford. Angelina (at the premier of "A Mighty Heart") looks nice as always, I just wish she would smile sometimes. How much would you pay to have George Clooney kiss you? That honor went for $350,000 at the amFAR Cinema Against AIDS benefit (a 7 day Mediterranean cruise went along with it). And it was a real kiss on the lips! But the best part is that the lucky girl's boyfriend paid for it. Now that is what you call a good boyfriend. If I ever run into George Clooney I'll save my husband a few bucks by just attacking him.

Pamela Anderson poses at the photocall for "Blonde and Blonder". This picture is really inspiring - I am thinking of getting a breast augmentation and this would be a great picture for me to bring to the plastic surgeon. Except I would probably need to go bigger since I am taller than her and have broader shoulders. OK, we are getting a little bored here mid-season as we are lacking new bags to talk about but this is getting pretty low. It's just that we have to be so PC as Top Cops for US Weekly that I need to rant and rave and flush out my system. ***Shameless plug alert*** Check out this week's US Weekly for more Bag Snob Fashion Police coverage!!