Britney Spears was spotted in Santa Monica without her bra on, and looking like she put her lipstick on with her feet. I know she's had two kids, but that's why they invented the bra. So nobody would have to see her deflated boobs through that shower curtain she calls a dress. And what the hell is going on here? How does she look like this one day, and like this the other? It's like she has a secret twin sister nobody knows about. Who's also a robot. And solves crimes. Hey, she sounds fun! My stupid twin sister just lies in bed all day and complains about her cancer.

NOTE: I probably crossed some sort of line here. Some sort of terrible offensive line.