Many relationships go through difficult periods, whenyou wonder if there’s any point carrying on with it. Some are not worth saving ( for example if there is mental cruelty or physical violence involved). However, there are many reasons why it’s worth fighting for them …
Most people who are single parents do an admirable job. However, if you have children, it’s nearly always worth trying to work things out. There are obvious exceptions, but when you have brought children into a relationship then you have created a family and it’s better to keep that family together.
There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with the relationship, it’s just that you’ve been together a long time and maybe started to take each other for granted. Remember that starting again with a new partner will probably end up with the same situation – the honeymoon period never lasts.
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You both genuinely want to make it work. If only one partner is willing, then it will never work. That person will end up resentful, and the other may well leave anyway.
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You genuinely love and care for each other. If you can still remember why you fell in love in the first place, then try to recapture that feeling. When you still care deeply for someone, even if you are not passionately in love any more, then you can still have a happy relationship.
Divorces are always, ALWAYS difficult, stressful, expensive, and the only people who win are the lawyers. Enough said.
When my marriage was in trouble, someone asked me what I could see in my future. She listened, and then asked "And where’s your husband?" He was not in that vision. Now both of us have moved on with separate lives, and are happier apart.
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You have fundamental respect for each other and your families. Both of you understand that as well as being a couple, you need time apart and separate interests. You also support each other’s career and ambitions.
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You accept each other, faults and all. Anyone who tries to change you is not worth staying with, as you will probably never meet their standards, but a person who loves you for yourself is worth keeping.
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Both of you are willing and able to talk through problems. If there is anything bothering one of you, then you can raise it with your partner, and they are willing to listen. Any criticism is constructive, and you say things like ‘I would really enjoy spending more time together’ rather than ‘You’re always out with your friends, why didn’t you marry them!’
There are lots more reasons why a relationship is worth keeping, but I’ve only had space for a few of them. What would make or break a relationship for you? Would you try anything to keep someone, or do you know when to walk away?
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