Everyone knows that you can never take your words back. Once you say something, it's permanent and the damage is done. Often times the peoples you can hurt the worst and tear down the most are your kids. By belittling and criticizing your children, you not only decrease their self-worth and self-image, you teach them to do the same to others. Here are 7 things you should NEVER say to your children.
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This type of question will play itself over and over again in your child's head and create a mindset of self-blame. Are you insinuating that you could do better? Everyone makes mistakes and does something wrong, but that doesn't mean you need to make them feel worthless for it. Imagine how you feel when someone says that phrase to you!
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When you tell your child to do something, never make it "Because you said so." There's a reason for everything, and make sure you point out the reason why. If you are patient and take time with your kids to explain things to them, chances are they will be more eager to do your bidding and less likely to go behind your back and do the things you forbid. Besides, making comments like this will make you seem like a tyrant who doesn't care about the feelings of others.
We are all our own individual person, with our own strengths and weaknesses. When you make a comment such as this to your child, you undermine his or her ability to see themselves as a person of the same worth as his or her siblings. You may even put feeling of resentment or anger in your child's heart towards his siblings! You have to appreciate your kids based on each one's individual worth.
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Different kids have different paces and different methods of learning. While one child may learn and remember things visually, another will need to hear it. Yet another child will need hands on experiences! All of this diversity could be found within the same family. It's important to remember that some children struggle with dyslexia as well. If your child can't catch onto something as quickly as you think he should, there's no need to make him feel stupid. Instead, motivate and encourage him. A little patience goes a long way!
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Really? Because if you are perfect, please do write a book and share your secrets! Your children already see your faults; they live with you and are around you every day. It's necessary to convey an attitude that shows an apologetic spirit so that your kids will learn how to handle situations in which they are wrong. Always assuming you are right will teach your kids to have that sort of attitude, and that won't be an asset later on down the road. Especially if one of them is the leader of a team or a business or any sort of organization.
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This, in all essence, is a really dumb statement to make. If your child uses the excuse of "but every-one's doing it" then don't flash back another dumb cliche at her. Take time to explain why you feel like the desired thing is inappropriate or harmful. Giving your child, clear, strong communication will better enhance her understanding on the matter even if she doesn't agree with you. There's always going to be a desire to fit in and be one of the crowd, so maybe you can come to a sort of compromise with your child. Be understanding, and they will too!
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This kind of threat does nothing but place tension between you and your husband. Your husband comes home from work, tired and stressed and isn't even aware of what happened to cause Johnny to deserve a punishment in the first place. And often, by the end of the day, small children will have forgotten what they did wrong in the first place. Deal with bad behavior on the spot, and then your children will see you as a disciplinarian figure as well as they do their father, and they won't let your threats go over their head while undermining your authority as they would if you just pass over responsibility of their actions to your spouse.
When the kids are jumping on your last nerve at the end of a rough day, it can be easy to blurt out things you don't mean. Try to gain control of your emotions and remember that what you say has a lasting effect. Your children are people too, no matter how small, and they have feelings that can be more fragile than yours. Learn to cultivate, not tear down your relationship and you and your children will be better for it! do you have any other tips to share on what not to say to your kids? Please share!
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