Being co-dependent is defined as being physically or psychologically addicted, as to alcohol or gambling to another person. A more common way to describe being co-dependent is to say that someone depends upon a person entirely, either financially or to take care of them. I’ve found that having someone depend on you or depending on someone entirely put insurmountable amounts of pressure on a relationship so these are the seven ways to be less codependent.
The best ways to not depend on someone is to know what you want and how to achieve it and to know exactly who you are and what defines you as a person. If you know what you want and what steps you need to take to get it, you’ll need support, not someone else to take the full load. And if you know exactly who you are and what defines you, the person that you’re with won’t define who you are as a person. It’s better to keep someone around because you want them there than it is to keep them around because you need them there.
When dating an ex boyfriend of mine I found it incredibly frustrating that it always feel on me to clean up when we were living together. When I confronted him about it his response was "No one ever taught me how to do those things." The first step to becoming less co-dependent is teaching yourself to do the things that you would usually depend on someone else for.
A man has to eat, and so does a woman. You don’t need to be a gourmet chef but you do need to know your way around the kitchen at least a little bit. While take out is acceptable, you’ll find that you will eventually get sick of it. So do yourself a little favor and teach yourself how to make a home cooked meal.
I’m not saying that you need to know how to rewire your house but knowing how to do small things like patch a hole in the wall or put together an Ikea bookshelf can really come in handy when you’re trying to become more independent. I recommend getting a small tool kit to put under the sink and next time something goes wrong that doesn’t require a whole lot of work, get a how to guide and try to do it yourself.
This is a little more difficult than small home repairs. Cars are complicated. But there are mechanics around. Being able to do just the little things like replacing a windshield wiper or changing the oil will really help to make you feel like you can do things on your own.
A lot of women are co-dependent in the way that they need a man around to make them feel needed and wanted. This is simply not healthy. No one should feel like they need someone else to feel good about themselves. So, go out and find something that will make you feel confident in your abilities. Kickbox, paint, anything that will make you feel good about yourself.
This is a big one. You cannot ever depend on someone to fully support you forever so managing your own finances is a great way to get less co-dependent and fast. Make a budget plan, make a savings plan. Whatever you do, make sure that you do it your own way. Take control of small parts of your life and you’ll find that you depend on people less and less.
Well ladies, hopefully these tips have helped to inspire you in some way. Even if you aren’t co-dependent hopefully you can learn to do a few of these things to ensure you never will be. What are some ways that you keep your independence? What do you find your weaknesses to be? Let me know down below!
Top Photo Credit: @mandyyporto