Within ten minutes of meeting this type of guy, you conclude thathe’ll be boring -- in and out of bed. Part of the problem is that he'stoo N-I-C-E. And, because of that, he doesn't immediately excite yourerotic taste buds like some men do.
So you write him off as a Plain Vanilla Man.
Anyway, that’s his bland, generic flavor according to you. To another woman he might seem morelike premium Haagen-Dazs’ Vanilla Swiss Almond, or their decadent VanillaFudge Brownie.
And if you were to give the vanilla-at-first-glance guy more of a chance, he might even sweetlysurprise you -- in and out of bed. But I understand why you probably wouldn’t wantto take the time and energy to do that.
After all, in love and sex, there’s nothing quite as awful as being bored to tears bya man who’s too vanilla.
Well…….except being neglected, lied to, cheated on, or otherwise disappointed and hurt by anexotic, wickedly flavorful man.
Not that all thenon-vanilla men of the world are bad to women. Believe it or not, some men are actually interesting andN-I-C-E. On the scale of man-flavors, these guys are somewhere betweenthe ho-hum grocery store-brand vanilla, and Ben and Jerry's verystimulating Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz (with espresso bean fudgechunks).
Personally, I couldn't live 24/7 with a Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz Man, though I've dated a few of them in the past. After keeping me upall night long the first couple of blissful weekends together, thatkind of man eventually gives me the jitters!
Lots of women, however, have decided that they do wantand need someone just like him. A man who will stimulate and excite. All the time. Even if it's troublesome or painful.
Otherwise, being with a man might get [scream!] boring sometimes. Too vanilla.
But if you're with ANY person long enough, especially livingtogether, won't there eventually be occasional moments of boredom?And isn't that something a good relationship can survive just fine?
Where do your tastes lie on the man-flavor scale from PlainVanilla Man to Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz Man? Have you considered, or tried, moving from one end of the scale towards the other, or have you pretty much favored the same kind of man-flavor?
Check out Ben and Jerry's "ScoopShop Menu" for inspiration. Scroll on down to the "Original Ice Cream" section.
The latest Vanilla Man dilemma in the love life of Alyssa Shelasky, Glamour magazine's hot new dating blogger, got me thinking about this topic.Go. Read her archives. Feel free to tell her what you think. She makes dating decisions based on readers' opinions.