Your Ex is Not Santa Baby, Which Means He Has Nothing for You ...

If you're a single woman doing the holidays, you may be seriouslyflirting with the idea of doing something unspeakable.......if you haven't done it already.

I know. It seemslike the answer to what's bothering you right now -- the longing to have someone special for the holidays -- but I promise you, it’s the wrong move to contact your ex.

Anyway, it's a wrong move to contact your ex if ANY of thefollowing conditions are true about the guy:

*He dumped you.
*He told you not to call him again.
*He cheated and/or lied in the relationship.
*He didn’t exactly dump you, but he just never really committedto you.
*He has mental health issues and/or substance abuse problemsthat get worse during the holidays.

Just as importantly, please don’t contact the ex if ANY of thefollowing conditions apply to you:

*You want meaningful confirmation that he regrets losing you.
*You want to show him how great you’re doing -- especially ifyou’re not.
*You are trying to convince yourself that one call can’tpossibly lead to breakup sex.

*You want to prove to him how sane you can be because you endedthings in a blaze of psychobitch craziness.

And last, but not least…

*You have been drinking too much of “Santa’s Little LiquidHelper,” and are minutes away from making an embarrassingdrunk dial.

If you are temptedto contact an ex during the holiday season, call a supportive buddy first who can talk you out ofit. He or she already knows what you don’t want to accept: The interaction with the ex will NOT live up to your fantasy, and most likely it will make you feel evenworse.

Think about it. If you can just resist calling for another week or so, it will be the beginning of a whole new year. And who knows what goodthings await you right around the corner, and far, far away from the ex?

Save your cookies for someone who deserves them...

---

Here are the lyrics for Santa Baby. As far as I'm concerned, no one sang it like Eartha Kitt.

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree,
For me.
Been an awful good girl,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a 54 convertible too,
Light blue.
I'll wait up for you dear,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,
Next year I could be just as good,
If you'll check off my Christmas list,

Santa baby, I wanna yacht,
And really that's not a lot,
Been an angel all year,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need,
The deed
To a platinum mine,
Santa honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex,
And checks.
Sign your 'X' on the line,
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's,
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me,

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing,
A ring.
I don't mean on the phone,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry, tonight.

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