Irrespective of how successful your relationship ends up being, the start is supposed to be one of the best times and something you reminisce about for years... but I always find my friends worrying about doing something wrong rather then dreaming of the next date. Do you do the same? It’s such hard work knowing what to do, so I’ve decided it’s time there was a guide! Here’s my top twelve tips for starting new relationships!
1. Are You Ready?
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If you’ve just had a breakup, it can be easy to want someone else’s arms to cuddle up in. But remember, it's just a rebound and won’t lead to a healthy relationship, so make sure you are feeling good about yourself and ready for a new relationship before you start!
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Common friends are a great way to meet eligible men. Extend your friendship circle. It can be easy to think that you don’t know anyone, but if you utilize your friends and contacts you’ll find a whole new friendship circle. Whether you just make lots of friends or end up finding Mr. Right, it’s a surprisingly easy way to meet new people!
3. Blind Dates
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How many people do you dismiss because of what they look like or what they are doing, without even talking to them? Blind dates are the perfect way to talk to people you would usually dismiss, or just to meet new people. Give everyone a chance, and see where it leads. He may just end up being the man of your dreams!
4. Introduction Agencies
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These can be expensive, but they are worthwhile! Each member is interviewed, and discusses what they like, dislike, what theirhobbies are and are looking for in lots of detail. The agency then matches members with the members they feel they are most likely to get on with, and sends them on dates to see how they get on. You stay a member until you find a partner.
5. Ask Them out...
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So now you’ve found the person you are interested in, it’s time to do something together. Most people make the mistake of planning a meal for two, but this can be awkward if you find conversation doesn’t flow easily. Instead, choose a group activity, such as bowling and try to invite mutual friends or each bring someone for support. That’s much less awkward, and having fun together is a brilliant way to bond!
6. Read His Body Language
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Once he's in front of you, pay attention to his body language. If he’s interested, there should be lots of eye contact, and he should occasionally mirror your own body language. He should nod while listening to you, and breathe in tune with you. These are all easy signs to pick up on, and gauge his interest.
7. First Date
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Now it’s time to ask him out and arrange a proper first date. A movie and a meal is a good idea but make sure you get time to talk. Cinema dates can leave both people feeling a little confused, as there isn’t time to talk and bond. My boyfriend and my first date was to a coffee shop... we still visit it, and it brings back such memories!
8. Make Contact
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If you had a good night, text them and let them know. Silly first daterules about waiting a certain length of time will leave the other person confused and you frustrated, so send them a text and wait for them to respond. You’ve got nothing to lose!
9. Decide What to do Next
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Before you agree toa second date, think about if you actually want one. If it helps, make a list, and see where it leads you. However, remember that first dates are extremely nerve wracking, so unless there is a huge fault with the person, agree to a second date and you’ll see more of who they actually are.
10. Take Things Further
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Forget the silly rules about third dates, and only take things further when you are feeling ready and happy about it. Make sure that you use contraceptives, and remember that sex is worth waiting for. If he won’t wait and seems desperate, he isn't going to be a good partner!
11. Be Careful
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So many of my friends have gone to third or fourth dates, waited five minutes and come home, feeling devastated and furious that he hasn’t turned up. Remember that there are circumstances that mean he might be late, or be unable to contact you. Mistakes do happen, so try to be forgiving, and give the relationship a chance. That said, never wait more than twenty minutes with no contact from him. There are much better ways to have fun!
12. Friends Forever?
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Remember that even if your relationship doesn’t last the length of time, you could have a friendship that does. Also, make sure you still have time for your friends, even when you are obsessed with him and want to spend every second with him, as they will be your support blanket if things go wrong. Remember, boyfriends come and go but friends are for life!
I’ve given this guide to a few friends now, and I’m hoping it will help them to enjoy the first stages of new relationships, rather than worry! Why not see if it works for you too? You might find that it gives you the kind of moments you want to tell your grand-kids about, rather then stressful ones you don’t want to think about! Have you got a tip for new relationships? Please let me know!
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