We all get a bit paranoid from time to time. Coupled with a bad bout of insecurity, the stresses and pressures of general life can make the world seem like a mean, difficult place, inhabited solely by people who are ‘out to get you.’ If you’re feeling this kind of sensitive to begin with, it’s easy to misinterpret any change in your partner’s routine and take it as confirmation of the worst. To help to reassure you, I’ve done some research and asked around, and compiled a list of 7 signs he’s not cheating.
1. He’s Relaxed and Open about New Friendships and Habits
As a couple, it’s healthy and important to have individual relationships and pursuits. Sometimes, though, a new friend or hobby that leads to alterations in your partner’s regular routine can become a source of anxiety for you: you might begin to wonder exactly who he’s hanging out with at the gym so often, or why he needs to meet that new ‘guy’ for drinks every second evening. Casually ask him about the things that bother you: unless his response is tense and defensive, you’ve more than likely got nothing to worry about.
2. He’s Still Interested in You
If your partner is cheating, there is usually a sense of disconnect in the relationship. You’ll notice him pulling away from you and retreating into his own world. If your man remains keen to chat to you, however, and is happy to make time to do things together as a couple, then the chances are good that he’s not with anyone else.
3. Regular Bedroom Activity
A man can only have a certain amount of sex. If you’re still getting plenty of after-dark action, you can be pretty sure you’re the only girl he’s seeing.
4. You Can Have Small Arguments
A relationship in which one party is cheating is, by definition, on the rocks. One small nudge in the wrong direction, one little disagreement, might be enough to send the whole things right over the edge. If the two of you still argue about little things, and have the occasional minor spat, it’s a sign you’re solid enough to handle the rough patches without disintegrating.
5. It Isn’t Consistent with His Character
Everyone can be devious, yes. But it takes a fair amount of cold-blooded duplicity to betray your partner and lie, consistently, to his or her face. Think about it. If, deep down, you really don’t believe he’s got it in him to pull off sangfroid to this degree, then the chances are good that he hasn’t.
6. He’s Emotionally Stable
As we’ve established, cheating is not an easy undertaking – or at least, it shouldn’t be. For most people, a secret affair is extremely stressful, and fraught with feelings of guilt, indecision and anxiety. If your man is calm and relaxed most of the time, and rarely flies into bouts of apparently unfounded rage or depression, then there’s probably nothing big weighing on his conscience.
7. You Can Ask Him the Key Question
It’s not really advisable to ask your partner if he or she is cheating. You wouldn’t like it if he did, and he won’t be thrilled either. But if you do get to a point where you feel that you need to open your mouth, you’ll find that, if he’s innocent, he’ll be able to take it, and, eventually, to understand your reasons for asking him.
In short, a relationship in which one person cheats is bound to be on shaky ground; if you feel anxious, disconnected and sidelined in the long term, these are valid reasons to reevaluate your partnership. If, however, you genuinely, and generally, feel close to your partner and two of you really are interdependent and mutually trustful, it’s a good indicator that you’re with a man who’s faithful. Remember, everyone experiences moments of insecurity; it’s just important that these remain in perspective. That concludes my list of 7 signs he’s not cheating; do you have any suggestions to add to it?
Top Photo Credit: [benthomas]