You want to know that your relationship has a future but how do you tell? Hope doesn’t get you far in knowing if he’s in it for keeps. Successful and long term relationship can be generally “measured” by hallmarks such as progression, commitment, trust, respect, care and commitment. However, these can be easily undermined and manifest as signs that your partner is just passing time with your relationship.
1. Infrequent Contact
Not all relationships mean that you have to be living in each other’s pockets 24/7, but there might be a sign that your hearts are not in it when you realize that you hardly spend any time together at all.
2. Mostly Electronic Contact
A key sign that a relationship is just a passing time phase is when you do most of your communication via text, phone call or email rather than spending physical time together.
3. The Relationship is Not a Priority
You might be just passing time if either of you doesn’t treat each other as your social priority, choosing to spend time with friends rather than together.
4. Reluctance to Commit
If you have floated the idea of moving in together but have been met with silence or avoidance, then that’s a sign that somebody isn’t as committed as you thought.
5. They Take Advantage
Have a think about the time you spend together. Is there a common theme that they only get in touch with you when they want/need something?
6. They Cancel Plans
Cancelling long-term plans at the last minute is a classic sign that your partner is not as invested in the relationship as you are.
7. They Create Drama
Have you noticed that your partner tends to try to create drama, perhaps in order for a fight to break out and for you to end it all together?
8. Slow Response
Do they take an absolute age to reply to messages or return phone calls? Think about why - are they putting other people before you?
9. Still Close to Ex
Are they still close to their ex even though they know it makes you uncomfortable? It could be that they are keeping their options open.
10. Excuses, Excuses
Do they blame their lack of commitment on things like late busses or other ‘emergencies’; too many excuses can allude to a deeper problem.
11. They Only Make an Effort after an Argument
If your boyfriend only pays you the attention you want after an argument, it’s a clear sign that he just putting in the time before you can go ‘back to normal’.
There is nothing more frustrating that somebody who keeps flip-flopping on a relationship. Why don’t they care as much as you do?
Do you find that the bulk of your conversations tend to revolve around your partner and their interests rather than anything to do with you? It might suggest that the relationship is more an ego boost for them than anything more.
14. The "but"
For some reason, a lot of guys seem to think that this is an acceptable line to give to us when they want to be with you but not take it to the next step. What garbage!
15. They Don’t Want to Be Exclusive
The very fact that your boyfriend is thinking about sleeping with other people is not great, but the fact that he thinks you might be okay with it shows a lack of respect.
16. Only in It for the Sex
If he only sticks around for physical reasons, then this is a ‘relationship’ that is never going to stand the test of time.
17. You Feel like Friends with Benefits
There is a distinctly different feel to a real relationship and a friends with benefits type situation. If you think you are in the latter category, then it’s not going to last.
Does everything you do together have to be something that he wants, done in exactly the way that he planned? A lack of compromise hints at a lack of care for a partner.
19. Takes You for Granted
Do you find that your partner treats you badly when he is super nice to everybody else? This is a classic case of taking you for granted because he has become too comfortable with the current situation.
20. They’re Always ‘Busy’
So he is free for sleepovers, but is conveniently busy whenever you want to do more couple oriented things during the day? Sounds like he just wants you for sex to me.
21. They Go AWOL
In a true, authentic relationship, your partner shouldn’t go off the grid suddenly for a days at a time. If he does this then it means that he doesn’t care much about your feelings and just gets in touch when it suits him.
It's easy to be blinkered and think your relationship will survive but without a solid foundation it will eventually crumble. What are the most important relationship hallmarks for you?