Odds and Ends

By Guest

Odds and Ends

By Rachel Draker

Odds and Ends... its the title of a chapter in Anne of Avonlea and when I picked up my tattered copy the other day I noticed those three words were underlined. Why? Because my life is full of them. I stick out. I am Hawaiian/Irish/Native American.

I am a contradiction. When I was seven I asked my Grandmother how to describe my nationality for a project in school and she said, in a tone of reproach - "Just say you're made up of odds and ends and leave it at that."

"But why?"

"Because you you don't want them to think you're not one of them."

Them? My Grandmother constantly spoke about "them". I grew up in Southern California and was surrounded by certain kind of families that wanted their girls to become certain kind of women. Do you know one of those women? You know which ones...

When I was in college, I had a roommate whose life had been apple pie. She was one of those women. Her mother was a kindergarten teacher and her Dad was a Pastor and they lived in a big white house. She was a great girl and she even threw me my Wedding shower at her house. But all the while, every now and then I would get this feeling from her mother, a not quite genuine smile, a slightly wavering laugh and I would think, she knows. She knows I am not one of those women. I was raised by a single mom who got pregnant at nineteen and whose own mother wanted her desperately to get an abortion.

I never have met my father and I spent quite a few of my first few years of life in a hospital, where I fought against the Cancer that invaded my body AND for the first eighteen years of my life - try as I might to believe I wasn't - I was ashamed of not being someone else. Not being skinny, not being perfect. And then it happened... I was accepted into a ritzy college and first try out had my writing accepted at a writing conference. It was a collection of poems about me and my life. I remember after reading them, genuine applause and compliments rang in my ears. A nearby Professor stepped up alongside me and smiling, asked what the collection was called. On the spot, I immediately blurted out - "Odds and Ends". Afterward, I asked him if he thought that was a bad title since it was so different from the titles of the other writer's work. "But aren't you okay with that," he asked. I glanced up and if I missed a beat he didn't notice when I answered, "Yeah, I am."

It's been awhile since that fateful day and I have since married and have a ten month old son. I pursue writing every day and every time I call my Grandmother she tells me I'll never be one of those women if I stick with this writing thing, and now I just smile and answer back, "Promise?"

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Is this like a contest to become a blogger? Anyway, I read some of the posts=like 3 or 4= and found some cool stuff about how to make your boyfriend happy or designer duds. but this post I liked more. this post reminded me of sex and the city; like, how Carrie writes her column. I would be intrested in seeing how this writer- would write about other things- her comments on fashion etc. it seems, unlike the others, she would write about how to stand out and be yourself rather than just fit in.

You hit the nail on the head! I am happy to be “Odds and Ends” my self.

I read alot of the "America's Next Top Blogger" posts and the articles were all really well written- like something out of a magazine- Cosmo or Glamour. But this article, Odds and Ends was different. I liked that it was just about relating to expectations as a woman. I think every woman has a story about "those women" like the author implied. We all have impossible standards to live up to. I liked this article best because it's not about gucci shoes or diet fads or hair color--- it's really an essay about incite into a woman's heart. It reminded me of college- when we read lit and not just magazines for fun. Classy. I'd read more.

I really like and enjoy how refreshing, you sound. Its great to hear some thing from the heart. I think to many people try to from a mold, they should never or cant ever fit in to, I know I have tried. You know I have come to the understanding that its people like you people like me, that breath light in to this world. Thanks for saying what I have been feeling in my heart for years.

Rachel, that's great! I'm so glad for you! We should always be ourselves and never look at other people...

Dear Rachel, It's a wonderful piece, so real and so beautifully written, thank you so much!

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