Men and women – so much alike and still, so different!
You want to make your relationships work? You want to understand your partner better than you do? Then, this article is for you. Here you’ll find info about true side of man’s nature. It’ll definitely simplify your understanding of his behavior!
Do Men Care Less About Their Looks Than Women?****They suffer just as much as we do We agonize over each extra pound, fret over every frown line, while men—even the balding, potbellied, and triple-chinned among them—strut about, confident of their staggering sex appeal. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. They suffer just as much as we do. Would you believe that 94 percent of men would like to change some aspect of their physical appearance? So much for seeing themselves as paragons of physical perfection.
What is the male ideal?
According to an overwhelming majority of men, it's what's known in medical parlance as the hypermesomorphic body—more commonly, the muscle-man physique. Being muscular—with wide shoulders, well-developed arms and chest, and a narrow waist—is as tyrannical a standard for men as being slender is for women. A survey of Psychology Today readers found that a man's self-esteem is directly tied to having a muscular upper body. Those who feel their biceps aren't beefy enough endure the same feelings of inadequacy and depression as do women who think their thighs are too thick.
Another study, conducted by researchers at the Uni¬versity of Michigan's School of Public Health, posed this question: Are males satisfied with their body weight? The answer was a resounding no. Of the men surveyed, 40 percent wanted to lose weight (compared to 85 percent of women), but another 45 percent wanted to gain weight.
Other appearance worries
Men also have appearance worries that women don't have. Height, for instance. More than one in three American men report that they'd like to be taller. Many also would like to have more hair. Research by Thomas F. Cash, an expert in the psychology of physical appear¬ance, shows that the majority of balding men feel some distress over their hair loss; those who start losing their hair in their twenties experience especially intense stress, sometimes reporting a sense of losing control and a fear that their thinning hair will cost them points in the dating game.
Yet more evidence of male vanity is the growing number of men going under the surgeon's scalpel for nips and tucks: According to the American Society of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons, cosmetic surgeons are seeing more male patients eager to improve their appear¬ance than they were a decade ago.
Are Men Incapable of Monogamy?
Fidelity is more important to a good marriage than is a satisfying sexual rela¬tionship, financial security, or having chil¬dren. A woman's point of view, no doubt? Not quite.
More than three-quarters of the one thousand men surveyed in the Virginia Slims American Women's Opinion Poll agreed with the above statement. While some theorists propose that monogamy is a state of affairs (or a state of no affairs) foisted upon men by women, men them¬selves disagree.
Pollsters asked five thou¬sand American men whether they would, in an ideal world, want to carry on sexual relationships with a number of women at the same time. Only 1 1 percent said they'd pursue this "fantasy." And even men who have yet to pledge fidelity fully expect to do so: The majority of the single men surveyed by sex researcher Shere Hite said they plan to be monogamous in their marriages. So much for intentions.
**What about reality? **
Well, some highly credible research indi¬cates that there are many more Loyal Larrys out there than Philandering Freds. A new na¬tional Gallup Poll uncovered a virtual epidemic of fidelity: Eighty-nine percent of husbands report they've stayed true to their wives.
Less stellar but still heartening are figures from the landmark American Couples study. Sociologists Philip Blumstein and Pepper Schwartz re¬ported that only 15 percent of husbands married two years or less have strayed; among men who have been wed a decade or more, not even one in three has done the "wild thing" with a woman other than his wife since declaring "I do." Even without the bonds of matrimony, most men in committed relationships control their car¬nal wanderlust: Only one in five unmarried men who have been living with a woman two years or less has cheated on her.
More food for thought: In Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy, psychiatrist Frank Pittman notes that many affairs happen during the last year of a collapsing marriage. "Intact marriages are far less adulterous," he writes.
Finally, when your man swears that he's never been unfaithful to you—even after you've discovered him flagrante delicto— chances are the cheating cad is telling you the truth, sort of. "Men don't think of sex as a betrayal of a relationship the way women do," says Fischoff. "They're much more capable of having sex as a recreational activity and having it mean very little."
To be continued...