Recently I posted an ad on a well-known public forum for which I will refrain from naming in the event I get verbally clobbered by those of you who tend to think less of folks who traverse such forums. Let me explain. This ad was of a different nature. The subject matter was about a common concern, but yet scarcely addressed in an open public forum fashion. It is of such delicate subject matter that in most cases best friends are not privy, and most certainly family members cannot know. This secret lives deep and dark and surfaces only when the mind has time to run amok with contemplation of the secrets’ pleasures and joys only dreamt of. I’ll give you a hint as to the subject matter and then we can move on from here: Women Seeking Women
Now before you run off screaming in total disgust, bear with me. I am not gay. I am not even lesbian. But there is a deep yearning inside of me that only another woman can understand. There is a deep sense of identity that can relate to the desire of a woman wanting to be with another woman - sensually and sexually. It is for this reason that I even bothered to look at this particular subject heading, and as I browsed through the postings I could see a commonality occurring: these women all want something but our truly afraid to go after it.
It was not uncommon to see pleas for attention, affection, companionship, sexual satisfaction, and anything else that a woman cannot seem to find within herself. And to make things even more complicated, many of these women who had received replies were sorely disappointed to find out the their new prospective friend either dropped contact, never showed, or turned out to be a true member of the dregs of society! So I decided to give it a try just to see what would happen -- I wrote in an. I got answers. I got disappointment. I never did make a connection with anyone at all. So I posted one final ad.
It was the result of a brainstorm I had -- I wanted to host a gathering of women, in my home, under my roof, where everyone could feel safe to talk and express the things that they have held in secret concerning their desire for another woman. In essence it was a girls night out -- a slumber party for us big girls! It was a safe zone for bi-curious women who wish to meet others of like mind. The response was incredible and before I know it within a couple of days I already had my maximum 20 people booked for the date I proposed. There was going to be lots of food and laughter and female camaraderie, and I laid out all the plans in my mind about how I would provide the ambience and the atmosphere conducive to women learning to love each other. It was going to be fun, and from the looks of the responses that I received in my e-mail from women wanting to book a place at my home, they thought it was going to be too!
And then it happened. I canceled the ad in chickened out. And I don’t understand why.